Authority. For some reason, pop culture conditions us to undermine it. From music to movies to TV shows, we’re pelted with one uncompromising message.
Resist. Fight. Rise up against the Man. Not Becky Lynch obviously, we like her.
Yet where would be be without authority? It’s the glue that binds our ragtag society together. It provides order, lays out the rules and ensures that each of us stay in our lanes.
Take that away and we’re all just a bunch of inconsiderate marauders. Blitzing through red lights, spray painting orphanages and – shudder – wearing white after Labor Day. We might as well stock up on canned foods and move into the Thunder Dome by that point.
Fortunately, wrestling acknowledges our implicit desire for order and has found no shortage of people willing to impart that discipline. People who will gladly pick up the shield and, for the common good, withstand the barrage of obscenities while they keep us in line.
I’m talking about wrestling authority figures. Every promotion has them and, as crazy as this sounds in 2018, some have even been good. Others, of course, anointed themselves World Champion, got sued by Hulk Hogan and almost single-handedly collapsed an entire promotion. I could name fifty people in this list and still not get to that imbecile.
So instead we’ll confine ourselves to the best authority figures in wrestling. The cream of the crop. Those whose charisma, morality and assertiveness gave the show direction, created weekly intrigue and, crucially, improved the product.
When reading this list, bear in mind that most of the following people were creatures of their time. While they may not be the authority figures we want right now, they were certainly the authority figures we needed back then.
13. Dixie Carter
And we’re off! Not even the most contentious entry on this list (just wait until you see what’s to come), Dixie Carter nevertheless deserves her spot based on legacy alone.
The erstwhile President of TNA (before its name changed to Impact Wrestling), Dixie has experienced – and often contributed to – some turbulent times in her career. As the majority shareholder in the promotion since its formation, she took on a key decision-making role and, between 2009 and 2016, featured prominently as an on-screen authority figure.
The Texas native was tough, uncompromising and equally adept at playing the fair-minded boss or the callous villain. Despite reports of a fractious relationship between Carter and her fellow directors behind the scenes, Dixie was often central to some entertaining, career-making angles. Adopting Rockstar Spud as her Chief of Staff was a particular highlight, as was bringing in ECIII as her smug, entitled nephew.
Also, who could ever forget that time Bully Ray powerbombed her through a table. Has there ever been a more appropriate metaphor for the state of TNA in 2014?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKzHpRyAsRA
12. Paige
A shocking entry perhaps, but only because she’s been in charge for such a relatively short time. Despite only taking the reins of the blue brand in April this year, Paige has been a frequent bright spot as general manager of SmackDown Live.
The ‘Ghostface Bookah’ (not an actual nickname, and in hindsight unlikely to catch on) has seamlessly transitioned from in-ring wrestler to on-screen management. She’s natural, likable and unflappable when dealing with the roster’s more intimidating characters.
On that note, her chemistry with the wrestlers in general is remarkable. Whether she’s dealing with babyfaces, heels or anything in between (I’m looking at you, Shane), Paige makes every segment feel believable and organic. She elevates the talent around her, while maintaining firm control of the show.
Based on a mix of her personality and stern guidance, the ‘Anti-Diva’ is more than deserving of a spot among the best authority figures in wrestling.
11. William Regal
This entry is heavily influenced by my love for both NXT and ‘the Man’s Man’ Regal. His goofy tenure as WWF Commissioner in 2001 aside (where he would frequently be outsmarted by babyfaces and heels alike), Regal has established himself as an excellent roster leader.
He’s run NXT firmly and fairly since July 2014, demonstrating the rare mix of dignity and rigid adherence to rules that only true Brits can muster. In a world where heel commissioners have become the norm, Regal is a refreshing change of pace.
Plus his interactions with the likes of the enigmatic Nikki Cross and Aleister Black always promise to entertain.
10. Teddy Long
The part-time Undertaker enthusiast and full-time tag-team connoisseur suffers from having presided over some of the darkest days of SmackDown in the mid-to-late 2000s.
But that overlooks his contributions to elevating Friday nights from downright atrocious to merely poor. Long had infectious energy as SmackDown general manager, which he would harness to inject life into even the most repetitive of segments.
As someone who embodied spirit, fun and enthusiasm – coupled with his longevity (the man served in the position for over six years) – the originator of the ‘Teddy Shuffle’ is not to be denied his rightful spot among the great authority figures.
9. Shane McMahon
Recent converts to WWE will be excused for wondering what the ‘Boy Wonder’ is doing amongst the other names on this list. But I’ll remind you that he isn’t considered the ‘Best in the World’ for nothing. He earned that title by abusing his authority to insert himself into a meaningless tournament at the eleventh hour and pin Dolph Ziggler, who had already competed in two matches that night. God, he’s awful.
But look back to simpler days. I’m talking a time before Shane became the greatest grappler in the known universe. Before he took AJ Styles and The Undertaker to their limit in his mid forties. I’m referring of course to the years between 1999 and 2002, when Shane was truly in his element.
Presented as a snivelling, snot-nosed runt with a silver spoon firmly embedded in his gullet, the elder McMahon sibling was the perfect foil to the faces on the WWE roster. He was a cocksure young upstart, often overestimating his talents and ability, leading to some rather painful life lessons.
His memorable moments include being the head of The Corporation (and later the Corporate Ministry) as well as when his treachery took its final form – as the owner of WCW and leader of The Alliance. As a part-time wrestler, Shane’s prominent role and genetically oversized ego also lead to frequent run-ins with The Rock, Kurt Angle and his father, most notably at WrestleMania X-Seven.
His recent run as SmackDown Commissioner has put an unfortunate damper on people’s memories of Shane, but his golden run during the early part of the century is enough to sneak him into the top ten here.
8. Mick Foley
The peak of Foley’s tenure was as unpredictable as it was short-lived. Forget the bumbling, forgetful figure we saw as the inaugural Raw GM following the most recent WWE brand split. Purge your minds the useless goof who hobbled around the passages of TNA.
Foley was at his best as the WWF Commissioner between 2000 and 2001. The hallmark of the rather eccentric executive was that his office was never in any one given place. Treated much like continuity in WWE today, the Commissioner’s office simply popped up whenever it was convenient. Foley would appropriate cupboards, basements, storage areas or really any free space to use as his base for the night.
It perfectly gelled with his character as a nomadic loon, neatly integrating an element of surprise each night and generally adding a sense of fun to every broadcast. Watching Triple H spend half the night searching for Foley, only to find him shuffling papers in a men’s room stall, never stopped being amusing.
7. Vickie Guerrero
Vickie’s true genius lay in her ability to subvert expectations. Following the tragic and untimely death of her husband, Eddie Guerrero, Vickie was naturally poised to be a crowd favorite. Fans wanted nothing more than to cheer the sympathetic and recently widowed SmackDown general manager.
That goodwill lasted all of five minutes though, as Guerrero quickly corrupted our feelings through a toxic combination of being overly polite and intolerably shrill. To this day, the words “excuse me” bring out nuclear levels of heat from any wrestling fan.
Cowardly, manipulative and a total brown-noser, Vickie quickly established herself as the most loathsome figure on Friday nights. And we’re all the better for it.
6. Jim Cornette
The motor-mouthed southerner out of Louisville, Kentucky is as close to wrestling royalty as they come. Whether it’s as a booker, promoter, manager, commentator or podcaster, Cornette has done it all – and done it really, really well.
But it’s his on-screen authority persona that bags him the six spot on this list. Admittedly a polarizing figure throughout his time with Ring of Honor and Impact Wrestling, there can be no doubting Cornette’s absolute magic with mic in hand. His breathless delivery and colorful use of the English language rarely failed to get heat on the wrestlers concerned or hype up a storyline. He was magnetic, intriguing and exciting.
Perhaps no promo better captures the essence of his character than the one he delivered during a CZW invasion of ROH in the mid-2000s, made all the more impressive considering he was down a tooth at the time.
Cornette lives and breathes professional wrestling. It shows every time he speaks.
5. Triple H
Nothing is surer to draw a negative reaction from fans than an authority figure obsessed with doing what’s “best for business”. And nobody embodies that disgusting phrase more than WWE’s COO, Triple H.
Another example of a successful wrestler who’s transitioned into an executive role, the ‘Cerebral Assassin’ has consistently reinvented himself while largely retaining the same vile on-screen presence.
His first taste of power came as one half of the McMahon-Helmsley Era, in which he parlayed his influence as WWF Champion to unfairly stack the odds against his challengers. Armed with an infuriating ability to pull the rug out from under us just as it appeared as though the good guy might get one over him, the ‘Game’ kept himself atop the WWE mountain for years. It was annoying, frustrating and frankly, great TV.
This pattern has recently been repeated – albeit with lesser success – in the form of The Authority. Despite the universally held truth that sequels are never quite as good as the original, Triple H remains a thorn in the side of many a babyface and an effective launching pad on their paths to glory.
It’s fair to say that over this period in the company’s history, Triple H’s villainy was second only to his wife’s. Speaking of whom…
4. Stephanie McMahon
I cannot properly express the conflicting emotions this woman instilled in me for the best part of two decades. On the one hand, her grating, shrill voice is perfectly suited to the conniving, vile heel character she portrays on TV. On the other, at the peak of her powers, I was a hormone-riddled teen in the throngs of puberty and Stephanie was… you get the picture. Conflicting emotions.
Her constant scheming and deceit is only half the reason that Stephanie ranks as a great authority figure though. Of course she regularly outfoxed babyfaces, in the process positioning herself as one of the most reviled figures in WWE. But what separates the current day iteration of her character from her best version some fifteen years ago, is that the ‘Billion Dollar Princess’ used to regularly receive her comeuppance.
Much as in 2018, Stephanie would antagonize WWE’s biggest stars, placing a seemingly endless series of obstacles in their way. However, in contrast to today’s tendency to leave Stephanie largely unscathed, the ‘Attitude Era’ was a proverbial minefield for the younger McMahon. She would often fall victim to The Rock and Chris Jericho’s verbal spars, drawing pops from the crowd and effectively building her adversaries up as more than mere punching bags.
If it wasn’t for Stephanie’s recent poor run as the Raw Commissioner, she’d place even higher here.
3. Eric Bischoff
If the nWo was the rocket that launched WCW to prominence, Eric Bischoff was the spark that ignited the flame. The revelation that Bischoff, the figurehead of WCW, had secretly been a member of the invading group all along was a genuine surprise. It typified the beautiful melodrama that only professional wrestling in the 1990s could deliver.
But this wouldn’t be the final twist of Bischoff’s career, as following the sale of WCW’s assets in 2001, Bischoff would re-emerge as the snakelike general manager of Monday Night Raw. The image of Vince McMahon embracing the defector who had almost put him out of business just a few years earlier was absolutely shocking. Bischoff continuing to be his smarmy, duplicitous self as the leader of the red brand was less so.
Bischoff’s ability to convincingly pull off the power-hungry, egomaniacal boss made him a good authority presence. His legacy as the man who almost single-handedly brought WWE to its knees makes him an all-time great.
2. Paul Heyman
The man with the gift of the gab could probably sell ice to an Eskimo. Or, arguably even more impressive, sell Brock Lesnar to a resistant wrestling audience in 2018.
Heyman built ECW from the ground up to become the third largest promotion in the United States. As the promotion’s primary power broker, he largely mirrored its core values: he was crude, innovative and simply electrifying.
The former Paul E. Dangerously’s brash style had legs too. As effective today as it was twenty years ago, his delivery was the hallmark of ECW’s emergence, its revival at 2005’s One Night Stand as well as successful stints with WWE, both on commentary and as SmackDown GM.
Widely considered to be the best advocate in the business today, Heyman’s longevity as a visionary and a showman solidifies his place among wrestling’s best ever authority figures.
1. Vince McMahon
Because of course it’s Vince McMahon. Sometimes the obvious answer is also the correct one. And in this case, Vincent Kennedy McMahon is both obvious and correct.
All it took was one legendary feud to put the McMahon family patriarch over the top. The innovator of the prototypical ‘heel authority figure’, Vince’s run against Stone Cold Steve Austin is arguably the single greatest feud in the history of wrestling. He was the complete antithesis of the WWE Hall of Famer. The billionaire versus the working class. The embodiment of authority oppressing the anarchist. The refined, cultured New Yorker lording over the gruff, blue-collared country boy.
Vince McMahon’s greatest talent was unquestionably his ability to draw the ire of the audience with a few short words or a patronizing glare. But his greatest contribution to wrestling was building stars who would go down in the pantheon of all-time legends. Whether he was corrupting The Rock, taking the career of Mick Foley or plotting the downfall of Steve Austin, McMahon always knew when it was time to put the heroes over.
For most of his career, everything he touched seemed to turn to gold. And just in case you thought Vince had lost any of that magic, cast your minds back to his reaction when his children attempted to honor him with a commemorative plaque earlier this year.
Would WWE be the global empire it is today without McMahon? Would the company’s biggest ever stars have emerged in his absence? Who would’ve taught Conor McGregor the ‘Billionaire Strut’? Thankfully we’ll never have to find out.
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