Last night was the traditional post-WrestleMania wacky Raw, where we cheer those we normally boo and boo those we usually cheer. And chant for AEW apparently. Oh, boy.
WrestleMania 35 was one of the best ‘Manias in recent memory. I loved all 52 hours of it. In typical WrestleMania fashion, Sunday’s showcase consisted more of a series of memorable moments as opposed to great matches – but on that front, man did it deliver. We saw nose rings being forcibly separated from their owners, the ‘Doctor of Thuganomics’ returning to insult multiple digitally rendered Eliases and Charlotte being transported to the arena via helicopter. Beat that, Becky and your lame cop car taxi!
On top of all that, Seth Rollins is the Universal Champion, Kofi Kingston is the WWE Champion, Becky was crowned both Raw and SmackDown Women’s Champ. THE IICONICS ARE THE WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! I was fundamentally sports entertained.
For a full run-down of what happened at the ‘Show of Shows’, you can check out our full coverage here. But suffice it to say that it was a shocking night full of unbelievable moments. Speaking of shocking and unbelievable, Dave Meltzer actually made a joke. Like, on purpose. At the expense of the jackass who tackled Bret Hart at Saturday’s Hall of Fame celebration.
Yeah,hopefully he gets to main event the next PPV. https://t.co/SK9vxlo4G0
— Dave Meltzer (@davemeltzerWON) April 7, 2019
Traditionally, the high of WrestleMania coupled with the promise of renewed rivalries and surprising call-ups makes the post-Mania Raw one of the highlights on the annual wrestling calendar. It’s a night filled with surprises, returns, debuts and character turns. WWE would have to do something truly awful to derail that kind of excitement. …Oh, boy.
Let’s get into the show.
The Best of Monday Night Raw
An Appearance By The New WWE Champion
Going into last night’s episode of Raw, I was thinking what a shame it was that we’d have to wait another day to see the coronation of Kofi Kingston. It just felt like, after the emotion of his WrestleMania victory, a Kofi celebration is something we should be getting to open the next night. Turns out, I wasn’t alone in that thought.
And so Kofi, flanked by his New Day pals Big E and Xavier Woods, made a surprise appearance midway through Seth’s opening promo. But this wasn’t just a party. Channeling his inner Becky Lynch, Kofi challenged Seth to a ‘Winner Take All’ match later in the night, pitting WWE Champion against the Universal Champion.
More on that later.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BwBQVa5Fr76/
The Crowd
Too often WWE crowds are blamed for a lack of passion when shows play out to mostly silent indifference. Most recently, Lafayette caught the brunt of this criticism – even being the subject of a lengthy hit piece put out by WWE themselves for the express purpose of running down the city.
But the simple truth is that you can’t expect crowds to get excited for a show that’s been pretty poor in recent months. You need to give them something to cheer for… and last night Raw did just that. And the crowd responded. Brooklyn was hot throughout, making every segment and each wrestler feel big time.
We even got a “Hey, Bayley” chant for the first time in about two years! Good on ya, Brooklyn.
Alexa Bliss’ Return to the Ring
We haven’t seen the ‘Five Feet of Fury’ compete in a while and it was just awesome to see her in the ring again. Hopefully that means that her injuries are behind her and that we won’t be forced to sit through any more Moments of Bliss. Classic win / win situation.
Maybe she’ll get back to cutting some of those scathing heel promos too, making it a win / win / win.
The Debut of Lars Sullivan
I have reservations about old Lars, but I was relieved to see him finally make his main roster debut following months of promos and a reported bout of anxiety. Mental health is a delicate matter and his debut seems to indicate that he’s in a better place. While having Lars destroy a 50-year-old man wasn’t the best way to introduce him to a new audience, there remains a ton of potential feuds for Sullivan to step into from here. Roman Reigns? Drew McIntyre? Finn Bálor? Braun Strowman? Each of those present something enticing to look forward to.
On an important side note, I’m even more relieved that he appeared to take it easy on Kurt Angle when delivering the Freak Accident. The giant man confronted Angle after the Olympian had mercifully interrupted a long-winded Baron Corbin promo, and the ensuing attack could’ve been far worse.
A New Challenger for A New Champion
Becky made her way to the ring covered in more gold than Shirley Eaton in Goldfinger. Please understand that reference.
While her victory lap on the mic was full of great one-liners directed at Ronda and Charlotte, it was the interruption that elevated this segment. Lacey Evans has taken a lot of strolls in recent months, but none have taken place on ‘The Man’s watch. On this occasion, the ‘Southern Belle’ walked right up to ‘Becky Two Belts’ before decking her with the Woman’s Right.
What could’ve been an impactful moment had Becky been knocked down for a few seconds was somewhat undercut by the fact that the Champ barely sold the punch before launching herself at the very inappropriately dressed Evans. With Lacey battling to hold onto her fashionable hat and fairly restrictive gown, this brawl resembled a late-90s catfight more than a modern day wrestling angle.
But I will applaud Raw for immediately jump starting a fresh feud for Lynch and hope that this gives Evans a platform to show us what she can do in the ring. Lacey doesn’t exactly instil a ton of optimism in most fans, but I’m going to give this feud a chance. She’s a fresh challenger to Becky’s crown, and let’s face it, she’s had months to prepare for this. I’m going to choose to believe.
😱 Did #TheMan just meet the #WomansRight? 😱@BeckyLynchWWE @LaceyEvansWWE #BeckyLynch #RAWAfterMania #RAW pic.twitter.com/93T5hOE7Rf
— WWE (@WWE) April 9, 2019
Elias is a Dead Man
After the debacle that was his performance at WrestleMania, Elias was in no mood for interruptions last night. He issued a warning to anyone who dared meddle with his performance, whether they be legends, Hall of Famers, NXT call-ups or Vince McMahon himself. He went so far as to say that anyone who got in his way would be “a dead man”.
And then the Undertaker’s massive gong struck.
I must admit that after being conspicuously absent from Sunday’s event, I was not expecting to see the ‘Dead Man’ on Raw. So this really did come as a surprise – so much so that I actually stood up out of my seat when it happened.
Of course, all he did was beat up Elias for a bit – which pretty much everyone who’s ever appeared on the red brand has done at some point – but this was nevertheless a classic ‘Raw after Mania’ moment.
What'll it be, @IAmEliasWWE? Want to take a step into Death Valley? #RAWAfterMania #RAW #Undertaker pic.twitter.com/RggK2gkE9x
— WWE (@WWE) April 9, 2019
The Worst of Monday Night Raw
The Persistent Push of Baron Corbin
Corbin has been ever present on the red brand for months now. He’s been the centrepiece of a couple of mid-card coalitions, was for a time a darling of authority figures and featured in more main events than anyone should feel comfortable with.
As if that wasn’t enough, he was handpicked to be the man to retire Kurt Angle on Sunday. And now seems to have a new gimmick up his sleeve – one in which the ring announcer is forced to recite Corbin’s entire resumé, ending with the line “and [insert location]’s favorite son“. It’s long, it’s tiresome and frankly, I could go without seeing Corbin for a few weeks.
Kurt Angle Un-Retires
This must be a new record for futility to a WWE stipulation. Less than 24 hours after his farewell match, Kurt Angle returned to the ring to confront the aforementioned irritant, Baron Corbin. It’s almost as if “retirement” is just one of those meaningless words that WWE loves to throw around. Like “last time ever”, “record attendance” or “vintage”.
Just stop the madness, Kurt. You’re an absolute legend, but it’s starting to look like a particularly strong gust of wind could turn your bones to dust. It’s time to pack it in, for everyone’s sake.
Bon Voyage to a Lunatic
Billed as his “Last Match in WWE” (unless this goes the same way as Kurt Angle’s “retirement”), Dean Ambrose’s final appearance on Monday Nights should have been memorable. Instead it was a fairly bland encounter against Bobby Lashley.
There was no pageantry, no glitz, no glamour. In fact there wasn’t even a match, as Lashley insulted Renee Young, leading to a short brawl which ended once Dean was slammed through an announce table – sorry, announce desk. A meaningful farewell this was most certainly not.
Welcome Back, Sami
Oh how I’ve missed you, you plaid-wearing, red-headed Canadian delight. As much as I wish WWE hadn’t diffused some of the surprise factor by showing Sami Zayn walking through the backstage area heading into a commercial break, that error in judgment isn’t enough to put a damper on my excitement.
Returning to the ring for the first time in nine months due to double shoulder surgery, Zayn issued an open challenge which was answered by none other than the new Intercontinental Champion, Finn Bálor. While the match that followed was decent, if unspectacular, that wasn’t why this segment felt like such a letdown.
After falling short against Bálor, Zayn proceeded to berate the audience for having assumed too much power in his absence, becoming hypocritical and corrupted in the process. I have no idea what show he’s been watching recently, but someone should tell him that there are no more authority figures, mate. Matches just sort of… happen. If he wants a match, he could try ambushing Ric Flair. That worked for Batista. Or maybe just ask Alexa Bliss really nicely.
Either way, this crowd was in full-scale celebratory mood and not at all receptive to this forced heel schtick. It smacked of Seth Rollins returning from injury. Or Triple H returning from injury. Or Tommaso Ciampa returning from injury. We just want to cheer for you.
"I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart, I did not miss this… and I did NOT miss any of YOU!" – @SamiZayn #RAWAfterMania #RAW pic.twitter.com/rvDDnOlhAg
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 9, 2019
Dana Brooke is in the Middle of the Pack?
This was a two-minute interview in which Brooke twice congratulated the ‘Champ Champ’ Becky, before tossing in the meaningless statement that she “wasn’t at the front of the line, but she wasn’t at the back of the line either“. All the while, she was strangely over-articulating every word, like a tourist who’s just visited one of Amsterdam’s famous cafés.
I’m actually quite a fan of Dana Brooke, but I have no idea what on Earth this was.
They Don’t Just Set The Bar, They Are The Bar
The main event saw Kofi taking on Seth, with both the WWE and Universal Titles on the line.
As tantalising as that matchup sounds, it was never going to result in a satisfying conclusion. So then why would WWE do it? They must surely have known that promising the audience an incredible contest, only to rip it all away after five minutes, would result in some disgruntled fans. Much like every Will Farrell movie ever made, the promising build-up would never justify the dud ending.
And indeed it only took about five minutes before the Bar run down to cause the DQ, converting a fun match between Kofi and Seth into a bland tag team contest. This was reminiscent of the dark days of SmackDown in the mid-2000s. And the crowd took note, with beach balls, boos and loud cries of “AEW” flooding the arena.
This was a disastrous way to end what had up to this point been a decent episode of Raw. Even more frustrating, this was entirely a self-inflicted wound. Either WWE is so out of touch that they didn’t foresee this reaction, or they intentionally wanted to send people home unhappy. Neither alternative is good.
Overall Rating (From best to worst: RawSome, Cor, AvRAWge, Poor and Rawful)
As wrestling fans, we’re all very much prisoners of the moment. And the contagious excitement generated by WrestleMania weekend is hard to excape. The last four days have delivered one of the best NXT TakeOvers ever, a sentimental Hall of Fame induction ceremony and one of the most memorable ‘Manias in the past decade.
For that reason, I desperately wanted to like this edition of Raw. I really did. You could see what the show was aiming for here: an exciting, energetic and fun way to round out an amazing weekend of grappling. And in fairness, in some areas they succeeded. Kofi showed up, ‘Becky Two Belts’ sent the crowd into a chorus of her theme music, and the Undertaker interrupted Elias in a genuine surprise moment.
Wait for it…#RAWAfterMania #RAW pic.twitter.com/K5FJw45eMF
— WWE (@WWE) April 9, 2019
But ultimately that was just flowery wallpaper covering a wall riddled with cracks. Reflecting on last night, there are only three moments that stick out in my memory. The Undertaker’s appearance, Sami Zayn’s return and the main event. Unfortunately, two of those were horrifically dismal. Clutching to the residual excitement spilling over from the weekend, I’m perhaps going to be a bit forgiving on the red brand. But I can’t get away from how poorly the show ended. Last night’s Raw was AvRAWge.
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