I vividly remember a school dance held during my final year of high school, to celebrate the end of exams. Towards the end of the night, a few of us decided it was a good idea to go for a midnight swim in the school swimming pool. With no access though, and most of the school being locked, we were forced to climb over the fence to get there.
Without delving into the details, the night ended with one of my friends accidentally impaling his thigh on a steal spike on top of the barricade. A couple of hours and several stitches later, he was in the clear. It was nevertheless a traumatic and unpleasant night.
Now, I have no way of knowing this for sure, but I imagine that experience was still more enjoyable than hearing Stephanie McMahon’s shrill voice open last night’s Raw. She truly is the Moment of Bliss of people.
Mercifully, we were only subjected to a few seconds of the ‘Billion Dollar Princess’ before ‘The Man’ came around. Because when Becky gets invited to appear on a show, she doesn’t wait to be introduced. Heck, for that matter, she doesn’t even really wait to be invited.
https://twitter.com/BeckyLynchWWE/status/1091827837521268736
This led to a strangely tense confrontation between the women. No, I’m not talking about Becky being suspended for refusing to allow a doctor to evaluate her knee injury (although that was weird in itself). I’m referring instead to Becky’s response to this unwelcome news.
She slapped the head off the boss’ daughter. This was a genuine surprise, given how rarely the youngest McMahon allows herself to be on the receiving end of any form of punishment.
Of course, Stephanie’s pride almost – almost – prevented this from being a truly excellent opening segment. We’ve heard many comparisons between Lynch and ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin recently. But whereas Vince gleefully positioned himself as the perfect foil to Austin’s style of anti-authoritarianism, Stephanie too often struggles to let herself veer completely into heel territory. She chooses instead to remain in this frustrating character limbo. Becoming neither face, nor heel. Neither straight-laced authority figure, nor scheming villain.
For all of her father’s faults, at least he knew when to be irredeemably vile, and when it was time to get his comeuppance in order to put someone over. While Stephanie so far seems reluctant to embrace the former, based off of last night’s showing, perhaps she’s finally learnt the latter.
So is Becky the modern day Steve Austin? Not quite. She hasn’t yet found that career defining antagonist who elevates her into becoming a generational hero. But is she the best thing in WWE – perhaps all of wrestling – at the moment? You bet.
And so it was this opening 15 minutes that set the tone for another inconsistent instalment of Monday Night Raw. Sure it wasn’t perfect. Much like a bag of liquorice allsorts, there was some good (the delicious multi-coloured squares) and a fair share of bad (those disgusting circular black tubes). But when you mix them all together together, you’re in for a surprising treat.
Man, I hope that reference makes sense to a non-European audience.
Guess who's not happy to see @BeckyLynchWWE…
The #RAW #WomensChampion @RondaRousey. pic.twitter.com/g3fM99FvRT
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) February 5, 2019
But regardless, there certainly was a lot to talk about here. We saw the first match (but still no first words) for one EC3, Mojo Rawley’s continued descent into madness (step away from the crazy mirror, Mojo!) and Ronda Rousey’s attempt at an open mic poetry slam:
“You need to stop showing up to hear the cheers for your weekly violin recital and instead stay home and rest up until WrestleMania. So then you can finally receive the beating even your moping, woe-is-me ass won’t find some new reason to lament about.“
Hey Ronda, B-Rabbit called. He wants to know if you’ll star in the white girl remake of 8 Mile.
But we’ll get to all that in due course. Let’s start with the best parts of last night’s Raw.
What was your favourite moment from Raw?
Emma Heeley
In the space of seven days, Dean Ambrose has gone from being a guy who got lost in the shuffle after a horrendously botched heel turn, to a guy who (I think) got the second loudest pop of the night bar Becky Lynch. It’s amazing what handing in your notice can do.
He managed to turn another naff talk show segment into something really amusing that did make me laugh out loud. I do enjoy sassy Dean. On a side note: I do feel Nia Jax’s pain… I too find it hard to control myself around Ambrose’s raw sexual magnetism.
"WHERE ARE EC1 and 2?"
Rapid fire questions from @TheDeanAmbrose for @therealec3… #RAW pic.twitter.com/hS5H30dMNN
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) February 5, 2019
Dylan Kapisky
Tag Team Revival? I’ll be honest, I struggled to pick the best part of Raw. Not because the show was bad – in fact, I enjoyed this episode – but because despite nothing being very bad, there was nothing that stood out as particularly great either.
The closest the show got to excellent was the four corners tag match. Heavy Machinery were given the chance to shine against the Lucha House Party, B Team, and eventual winners, The Revival. The action was fast, smooth, and entertaining. It was a bit let down by the result, because it feels like The Revival have had a billion chances at the titles, but that doesn’t take away from the match itself. It’s just one show, but maybe, just maybe, tag team wrestling will be taken seriously.
JP Wood
Alicia Fox and Nikki Cross vs. Bayley and Sasha Banks entertained me more than anything else on the show managed to do. I was impressed with the Franken-team of Cross and Fox. They made a weird kind of sense together and shared some real chemistry as a team.
The pre-intro beat-down was fantastic as well, as it gave Bayley a chance to shine in what really amounted to a 2-on-1 handicap match for the most part.
Kyle Payne
The entire opening segment between Becky Lynch and Stephanie McMahon was great. Becky being the babyface who refuses to see a doctor because she is hurt more than she is letting on and probably won’t be cleared, and Stephanie McMahon pretending to care about her was a great dynamic. Becky is over, her punch to the throat is over, and everyone knows that she actually is ‘The Man’. There is no one hotter in the company and if they continue to push her and stand behind her, she could lead them into another golden era for the company.
The highlight of this opening segment – I have to give credit where it’s due – has to go to Ronda Rousey, who told Becky Lynch that her injury only required ice and Advil.
Speaking of Rousey, her matches with Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan were fresh and the tease of her facing Riott is intriguing. I also loved the tag match, especially Heavy Machinery, though The Revival picking up the win was the right call all things considered. Now WWE just has to put the title match in a good spot on a PPV with plenty of time and, together with Chad Gable and Bobby Roode, they’ll potentially steal the show.
The interaction between Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins was great too. I loved how Ryder addressed his name being spelled wrong and how, together, they plan on pulling themselves out of obscurity to become winners again.
Ok ZACH, let’s do this. #RAW pic.twitter.com/NvxCuK2UQq
— Brian Myers (@Myers_Wrestling) February 5, 2019
What was the worst part of last night’s episode?
Emma Heeley
I’m not a big fan of Hall of Famer nostalgia, and the segment with Jeff Jarrett, Road Dogg and Elias just emphasised my dislike for them. The whole segment was cringe-worthy from start to finish. It was like trying to watch your dad and his mate sing drunk karaoke. Sadly, not even Elias’s jabs at [insert your home town sports team references here] and crowd participation were enough to win me over.
Dylan Kapisky
Broken freakin’… retirement? This segment just did not land. Kurt Angle came to the ring and cut a good, empassioned promo, reflecting on his career and accomplishments. He teased retirement, before being cut off by Baron Corbin. And that’s where things went south.
Corbin’s promo lacked substance, and his delivery was plain as ever. Drew McIntyre joined him, but even he couldn’t turn this bit around. It all ended after the two men threatened to attack Kurt, who was saved by Braun Strowman. In isolation, this was not a bad segment, but considering the build-up it was given, it was very disappointing.
JP Wood
That Jeff Jarrett / Elias segment in its entirety was so drawn out that all sense of nostalgia was lost. The match, I could take. It wasn’t anything special and felt a little bit sloppy.
It was the lead-up to the match that took the wind out of my sails. I felt a little bit embarrassed for Jarrett and Road Dogg singing a 20-year-old song that was bad when it was written and has aged like fine milk. What was this supposed to accomplish?
Special mention however goes to another dreadful Moment of Bliss. It was also sub-standard but was rescued from the bottom of the pile because the match it resulted in was ok.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bte8FL7F_O3/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet
Kyle Payne
Dean Ambrose. I know I sound like a broken record but, I mean, come on. Who didn’t groan in disappointment over his segment? What’s worse, I don’t even think Dean cares anymore and I think he’s just counting down his time until freedom.
The report going around is that one of the reasons he’s leaving is because he hates hokey stuff. So what does WWE do? Puts him in more hokey segments. I don’t know what his character is, still, and I don’t think he knows either. All of this is on WWE if they lose him and if they do, I hope they live to regret it tremendously. Also his match with EC3 was not very good.
Another thing especially bad about Raw, besides the Elias and Jeff Jarrett segment, was the Kurt Angle stuff and main event. They built up Kurt’s major announcement on social media, only for it to be interrupted by Corbin and McIntyre. And then have him be saved by Strowman. All of that would have been fine if the main event did what it was supposed to do and kickstart Kurt Angle’s redemption. That did not happen though and instead we got a DQ finish. Great.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BtfPOA0l5Uh/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet
How would you rate the show overall? (From best to worst: In Awe, Cor, AvRAWge, Poor and Bore)
Emma Heeley
This week’s episode has seemed to slip back into its old ways. A three-hour show that felt dominated by promos and mic time over actual in-ring action.
I think it’s safe to say, with the absence of Rollins (and their poor booking of Strowman and Ambrose overall), it really did feel like Raw has run out of big names to build their show around. They even had to borrow ‘Stone Cold’ Becky Lynch just to showcase another authority angle show opener.
Even though I found Becky, Ambrose and the main event all entertaining, it wasn’t enough to rescue the show. This week’s Raw was Poor.
She'll ALWAYS find a way to hurt you…#RAW @RondaRousey pic.twitter.com/02VShqDTsW
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) February 5, 2019
Dylan Kapisky
Cor. Other than the Kurt Angle segment, and the subsequent main event match, I really enjoyed this show. Everything was average to good, without a bad full segment. The Becky / Steph promo was solid, Elias vs. Jarrett was dumb fun, and the tag match was strong. Nothing spectacular, but certainly more good bits than bad.
JP Wood
Poor. Honestly, had I not been writing this review, I probably would have turned the show off after the first hour or so. The pacing tonight was stunted as the show lurched from segment to segment. Literally none of the storylines felt like they moved forward, simply spinning their wheels instead.
Kyle Payne
I’m going to go with Poor. There was way more to dislike than to enjoy. Ronda / Becky is progressing nicely and, at this point, I can’t wait to see them wrestle (with Lynch hopefully going over). The tag division is finally being utilized, the other women are doing great things, and Finn Bálor had a fun match with Lio Rush. Everything else though, not so great.
The finish of the main event made absolutely zero sense and didn’t send anyone home happy. The Elias, Jeff Jarrett and Road Dogg segment dragged on a lot longer than it needed to and, by the end of it, Elias had cooled off drastically.
The worst of it all is still Dean Ambrose. He has no identity and just feels like another name on the roster, even though he should be so much more than that. If they, by some miracle, keep him then they need to send him to SmackDown or NXT.
[totalpoll id=”49445″]
Comments.
Loading comments…