Paul Heyman is a generational talent.
Now, I realize that isn’t the most controversial take, nor is it particularly contentious. But sometimes the truth isn’t controversial; and sometimes people don’t truly appreciate reality until it’s said out loud. So, if only to drive the point home, once more: Paul Heyman is a generational talent.
Over a career spanning 25 years, Heyman built a promotion from the ground up, brought it from anonymity to cultural relevance, watched it disintegrate, established himself as a terrific color commentator and solidified multiple wrestlers as bona fide main eventers. Hell, he did all this while making a ponytail look like an acceptable life choice. HE MADE ROLLERBALL LOOK EXCITING!!
As gifted an orator as we’ve ever seen in the ‘squared circle,’ Heyman’s talents have perhaps been most apparent in his role as advocate for current WWE Universal Champion, Brock Lesnar. Consider what Lesnar was before Heyman christened him the ‘Beast Incarnate;’ before he was labelled the ‘Next Big Thing.’ An able amateur wrestler? No doubt. A man who looks like the medium-sized Russian doll that fits between Jason Statham and the Incredible Hulk? I agree. But hulking brutes with limited charisma are WWE’s bread and butter. Bobby Lashley, Ezekiel Jackson, Lex Luger – all constructed from iron girders and the excess testosterone that leaked out of Hulk Hogan in the 80’s; yet none of them had WWE careers that could be considered stellar.
Paul Heyman gave Brock Lesnar the tools to succeed. His unique promo style made Lesnar a must-see attraction and molded him into the brutish monstrosity that has transcended wrestling. But with Lesnar and Heyman seemingly headed for splits-ville (the belief being that the former could be leaving to re-join the UFC as early as this month’s SummerSlam), the question on most people’s minds is: “where does that leave Paul Heyman?”
Never short of clients who would receive a boost from his services, I’ve compiled a list of the four wrestlers whom I think would most benefit from a union with Paul Heyman. Perhaps they’re an ailing veteran searching for a career refresh, a young up-and-comer who could use a bump up the card or an established talent in need of a gifted mouthpiece, all of the names that follow would immediately be upgraded by finding an able advocate. A generational talent.
Let’s get started.
4) Shayna Baszler
Is there a more impactful way for the ‘Queen of Spades’ to debut on the main roster than to immediately align herself with Paul Heyman? Consider what he had to say on the topic of potential future clients a few months ago (Warning – contains strong language):
“I don’t see anybody on the male roster that I would have the same chemistry with, that I could put together the same body of work, have the same impact and do what I’ve done with Brock since 2002. It just doesn’t exist. It just – I don’t have enough years ahead of me to offer that.
So, is there someone on the female roster? … That remains to be seen.”
A woman like Shayna Baszler perhaps?
One of the most intimidating fighters currently on the WWE roster, all Baszler needs to announce herself as a contender on either of the main brands is the added stamp of legitimacy that Heyman brings to the table. This pairing would free her up to focus on being the domineering, rampaging bad-ass that she unquestionably is, while leaving most of the in-ring promos to Heyman. Plus, the fresh dynamic of having Heyman engage with the female roster is intriguing.
3) The Authors of Pain
“You were graciously offered to chance to turn the page. Tonight, I will not be so courteous.” …Jesus. As soon as Akam and Rezar combined to let out that banger of a line on last week’s episode of Raw, it was apparent that this once-exciting tag team desperately needed help. And I’m talking about ALL kinds of help – professional, emotional, and possibly legal.
Previously aligned with Paul Ellering, the Authors of Pain were presented as a largely mute, unrelenting, dominant force in NXT. So what do you do once you’ve nailed the perfect formula? You strip out everything that makes it good and add more of the stuff that people hate. It’s like when Coca Cola was trying to develop a sugar-free variant of their famous drink and the first thing their scientists suggested was to take out all the sugar and replace it with a giant basket of rotten fish tails. Except no, that didn’t happen because IT’S FUNDAMENTALLY STUPID!
The decision to separate the former NXT Tag Team Champions from their manager has so far proven disastrous. Asked to cut lengthy, convoluted promos, AOP have bumbled and floundered their way towards the abyss that is Raw’s tag team mid card. In order to recapture the magic this team had on WWE’s developmental brand, they need some guidance.
Assuming Ellering is either unavailable or unwilling to re-join his old team, Paul Heyman would be an excellent surrogate. His blend of personality and promo delivery is the perfect foil to the brutality of the Authors of Pain, and can re-establish them as the dominant force they were in NXT. (Also, the physical contrast between the 5’9’’ Heyman and the giant Akam and Rezar would be awesome.)
2) Roman Reigns
No, wait! Come back! The water’s warm… Okay, fine.
2) Asuka
Heyman’s doctrine as a booker has always been to highlight the strengths of a performer while masking their weaknesses. Nowhere is this more applicable than with Asuka. The ‘Empress of Tomorrow’ is arguably the most gifted in-ring worker the WWE have in their women’s division today. Undefeated for almost two and a half years dating back to her NXT debut in October 2015, Asuka quickly stormed to the top of the card. Her explosiveness, agility and ruthlessness established her as a firm favorite of most wrestling fans.
Asuka’s only weakness? The English language. A veteran of the Japanese circuit, Asuka only made the jump to American shores a few years ago. Although she’s clearly been working hard and her English has steadily improved, it’s by no means fluent and only serves to detract from her in-ring work.
This wouldn’t be a problem if she wasn’t regularly required to do so much talking during Smackdown Live segments, which are primarily designed to make her look like a total goof. This, combined with some awful booking decisions like the loss to Charlotte, being outfoxed by James Ellsworth and multiple defeats to Carmella, have really taken the shine off a once rising star.
Smackdown Live is a longer show than NXT and places different demands on its performers. This invariably involves catering to a more casual audience by integrating narrative-heavy, dialogue-driven segments. What Asuka needs to bring her out of the doldrums is someone who can take that pressure off her.
Partner her with Heyman, allow him to hype up what a tremendous force she is, have him do the longer segments while Asuka yells wildly in Japanese. And then have the ‘Empress of Tomorrow’ tear people apart between the ropes.
In short: highlight her strengths, mask her weakness.
1) Johnny Gargano
‘Johnny Wrestling’s sharp descent into unbridled aggression and psychosis has already begun. So consumed is Gargano by his hatred of Tommaso Ciampa, that he’s become the very person he so despised. The hero has fallen.
A few months ago, Gargano and Heyman seemed diametrically opposed. Now though, not only has Gargano’s vulnerability made it possible, but the thought of aligning the master schemer and manipulator (Heyman) with one of the few people in recent WWE memory with the ability to put on multiple five-star matches (Gargano) may be too tantalizing to resist.
With Heyman’s knack for backstage politicking and his firm hand steering Gargano, ‘Johnny Wrestling’ could quickly find himself atop the WWE mountain, having matches with some of the best talent the company has to offer. Having Gargano join forces with Heyman doesn’t only make sense, it immediately makes him feel important to audiences who perhaps aren’t familiar with his NXT run.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vifNFBSS_Z4
Thinking ahead slightly, it’s only a matter of time before we head into a redemption arc with Candice LeRae battling to save her husband from the clutches of the Enabler-in-Chief, Heyman. It may seem cliche, but tell me you wouldn’t enjoy a story of love overcoming the darkest evils, of good men re-discovering their paths and of villains being toppled. Gargano’s eventual journey back to the light must be preceded by his total descent into darkness. And no-one is more effective at being the metaphorical personification of darkness than Paul Heyman.
A generational talent.
Related Content
-
Is Paul Heyman Behind Monday Night Raw?
Advertisement
Tell me how wrong I got it in the comments below and please share who you would prefer to see Heyman paired with. Also, don’t forget to get in touch with us on Twitter and join the conversation on Discord.
Comments.
Loading comments…