So a quick geography lesson for anyone not in the United Kingdom planning on travelling to the UK for WWE’s first stadium show in the UK for 30 years.
The United Kingdom consists of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Great Britain is England, Scotland and Wales. The British Isles are Great Britain and Ireland, which includes Northern Ireland. Not everyone that doesn’t have an American accent is from England, and no, London is not the only city in the United Kingdom. Yes, everyone does know the queen personally, and we do eat Fish and Chips sometimes. Our dental hygiene is actually pretty good. In fact, according to Orchard Scott Dental, our dental hygiene is better than in the USA. Final piece of advice…people in the UK greet each other by shouting “you’re a bellend” and then slapping each other across the face. Remember that.
Now that we’re back on track, the fact WWE is returning to the UK (specifically Wales) for a stadium show is very exciting, and knowing WWE as we do, the promotion is sure to try and please the home fans by putting some stars from the British Isles (see above) on the card.
Therefore, we’ve come up with seven matches we think it would be awesome to see on the card for WWE Clash At The Castle. I am aware that not all of the acts in this list are from the UK, but this is WWE, so anything in Europe is pretty much the UK. Also, everyone has either a strong connection to the UK, or has wrestled on NXT UK.
Right. Here we go.
7. Moustache Mountain (ft. BUTCH) vs. Pretty Deadly
Moustache Mountain/British Strong Style is arguably the greatest modern tag team the UK has produced, with Tyler Bate and Pete Dunne (yeah, Butch) particularly standing out.
Pretty Deadly are clearly destined for big things now they’ve moved from NXT UK to regular old NXT 2.0, especially after winning the NXT Tag Team Championship in their first match in the promotion.
Unfortunately I didn’t have room in this match for Tyler Bate as he is busy elsewhere on my dream card, but I think it’s safe to say BUTCH is a more than capable replacement.
In my dream scenario, he’s back to being Pete Dunne, you know, the person everyone loved in NXT UK and NXT, and Butch is a thing of the past, because I don’t really like it to be honest. I like my Pete Dunne snapping fingers and wearing an ill-fitting singlet, not running around SmackDown like Scrappy Doo trying to punch everything.
Anyway, if Pretty Deadly are still NXT Tag Team Champions when the September show takes place, then it would only make sense to have them take on a team from the UK, and there are no better teams from the UK to take on than Trent Seven and Pete Dunne. Fact.
6. Xia Brookside vs. Layla El
So it turns out I overestimated how many female “legends” WWE has. Layla is really the only one (Paige is coming, don’t worry), so that’s why she’s on my card.
So, if you have an English legend on your card, then why not have them face an English star of the future? You know, put them over as the next big thing.
Xia Brookside is undoubtedly talented enough and popular enough to be the face of any of WWE’s women’s divisions in the future, so why not give her a big win on the biggest possible stage in her home country*?
Layla hasn’t wrestled since the summer of 2015, but when has that ever stopped WWE before? A one off match in front of a huge audience in a stadium feels like the sort of thing you’d be tempted to come out of retirement for if you ask me.
*I know Wales is not the same as England.
5. Gunther vs. Finn Balor
This was a tricky one, because pretty much anyone could have a dream match with either Gunther or Finn Balor.
So I thought, why not just have them face each other to make it a double dream match? Peeling back the curtain, Gunther, or WALTER as I like to remember him, is my favourite wrestler on the planet, so he needs a big match on any card.
For those of you who don’t know, prior to signing for NXT UK, WALTER was arguably the biggest star on the UK independent wrestling scene, and him leaving for WWE left a huge hole in several promotions.
While calling him Gunther still feels wrong, there’s no doubt he’s still one of the most exciting wrestlers WWE has in its roster. Finn Balor, despite Vince McMahon’s best efforts, is still massively over with fans, and putting over Gunther in a match at a show like this would do wonder’s for the Austrian’s career.
It’s David vs. Goliath, but this time Goliath wins.
4. Doudrop vs. Nikki ASH vs. Alba Fyre
No, I didn’t just make this a triple threat because they’re all Scottish. Ok, yes I did.
Scottish sports fans are some of the loudest and most passionate fans in the world. I mean this absolutely as a compliment, because they add so much atmosphere to any event they attend. If you want proof, just watch any football (soccer) match between Celtic and Rangers.
Not only are all three women in this match exceptionally talented, but with a home crowd behind them, and especially a home crowd with a lot of Scots in attendance, this could be the loudest match of the night.
In reality, it’s Doudrop vs. Alba Fyre vs. Nikki ASH. I’m my dream, it’s Piper Niven vs. Kay Lee Ray vs. Nikki Cross, because they were better when they had those names. If you think otherwise, you’re wrong.
Yay for Scotland.
3. Ilja Dragunov vs. Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre
Ilja Dragunov is scary, hardcore and very pale. Sheamus on the other hand is very pale, scary and hardcore. Drew McIntyre, unlike the other two, is hardcore, very pale (sort of) and scary.
As a result of their contrasting styles, I think this match could be amazing. Ilja Dragunov vs. WALTER is one of the best matches in recent memory, and there’s no reason why swapping out WALTER for Sheamus and Drew McIntyre would make it any less fantastic.
Give me 20 minutes of Dragunov, Sheamus and McIntyre beating the living hell out of each other, with chairs, tables, ladder, fans and steps used as weapons, and I’ll be a very happy boy indeed.
I also think, if this match were to be booked, that Dragunov should win, because a win over someone like Sheamus and Drew would really put him on the map for people who may not have seen his work before.
Unfortunately for Dragunov, if Vince spots him and hears he’s Russian, he’ll be on the main roster in no time as Vlad Moscow, everyone’s favourite stereotypical foreign heel.
2. Becky Lynch vs. Paige
Really this would be my main event, but that would mean you wouldn’t want to click any further in this list. Number 1 will shock you!!!!!
Here’s my idea. Becky Lynch liked her husband Seth Rollins’ idea of not knowing who his opponent for a huge show would be, that she does it herself.
Oh my, who could Becky’s opponent before this huge WWE UK show? It’s gotta be Paige.
Yes, Paige is currently inactive, and has been retired from in-ring competition for some time now…but if there’s anything that’s going to convince her to try and get cleared for a return, then a main event in a UK stadium show would seem to be a perfect opportunity.
Obviously I only want Paige in this match if she’s properly cleared to do so, but you can’t deny this is the biggest match WWE could put on between two people from Great Britain and Ireland.
Not convinced? Just imagine the pop when Paige music hits. Yay, you’re convinced.
1. Wade Barrett vs. Tyler Bate
And if Paige is coming back, then why can’t we also have a returning Wade Barrett?
I would’ve liked William Regal on the card, but he’s in AEW now, and judging by his interview with Chris Jericho, he’s currently held together with tape and pieces of plywood.
Picture the scene…Tyler Bate surprises everyone by showing up on NXT 2.0.
“I want a match at the UK show,” says Tyler.
“With who?” says the crowd.
“With you,” replies Tyler, turning and pointing at Wade Barrett at the commentary table.
“OMG,” squeals Barrett.
It’s a wonder I’m not on WWE’s writing team to be honest.
I am very much of the opinion that Tyler Bate needs to be on a more watched brand than NXT UK, so bring him over to NXT and put him over in a big match against a returning legend in Barrett. Easy.
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