I’m sorry, I have to get this out there right at the start… Josh Matthews is NOT enlightened. Ok, I’ve got that off my chest, now we can start the actual review.
Sami Callihan vs Fullah Bahh
The shows true opening segment, after 4 minutes of rule explanation and a recap of last week, was Sami Callihan vs Fullah Bahh. This match was great for what it was, and Fallah Bahh is always enjoyable to watch.
Bahh was in control for much of the match, while also playing the role of the jolly giant as he laughed to himself throughout. There was a fair amount of back and forth, and while this match won’t win any awards it definitely told the story that it intended to, while keeping both Callihan and Bahh strong.
The match ended with a great act of strength by Callihan, when he picked up Bahh from the second rope to hit him with a ‘death valley driver’. I appreciate the effort from Callihan, but due to the size of the big man Fullah Bahh, the driver looked more like a Samoan Drop. Either way, it got the job done for the pin victory. This was a clean win, except from an earlier ankle bite, which goes a long way considering the oVe were at ringside ready to interfere.
https://youtu.be/2cRuzJbvSwU
After the match, Callihan and the oVe looked to inflict the same damage to Bahh as he had done to Eddie Edwards. This was a great little spot, and a brilliant way to re-introduce Eddie Edwards as he ran in with a black eye and holding a lead pipe. Honestly, I think I marked out a little here because Edwards’ scar looked horrendous.
This feud sets up a match further down the road at Wrestlecon, Lucha Underground vs Impact.
Into the Void
Unfortunately, I have to get negative for a minute. I talked about IMPACT’s production choices coming down to personal preference, but there is one style that I really can’t stand. The commentators in a green screen void world with a segmented cinema screen as a backdrop, which we see a couple of times throughout the show, really gets to me.
I think they are trying to go for a legitimate sports show feel, but I think a studio set would work much better here – think like talking smack, or an actual news show. This segment gets to me more than it should and doesn’t really offer us anything worth talking about. It does however lead into my other main gripe with this week’s show…
The Flashback moment of the week.
Once in a while, or maybe more often and I’ve just learnt to ignore them, WWE do a flashback to a match at an event from years past – Wrestlemania Rewind for example. These are normally sponsored segments at the end of an ad break, and I can forgive them a little for the use of these as they are usually short and help them manage their live broadcast show. However…
IMPACT, 10 minutes is too long for a flashback segment. This was the second longest bit of wrestling on the show, and is ultimately a cheat considering people watch your show for new content.
I’m a vegan
https://youtu.be/GI3UsucqWJE
Austin Aries and Alberto El Patron really know how to make things awkward. I found myself laughing at this, and I don’t know why, but the whole thing brought with it a creepy and awkward vibe from start to finish.
It started with McKenzie Mitchell interviewing Aries about his new book. I’ll be honest, I started to feel a bit short changed here – which admittedly, is exactly what they were going for – as I genuinely believed for a moment that the hyped interview with Aries was going to be wasted on his vegan book.
El Patron entered the room, demanding to speak to Aries while dismissing McKenzie in the creepiest way possible. Patron did well to build up both him and Aries in his monologue, while being clear in his intention to have a match for the belt at some point in the near future.
The exchange continued for a while, with Patron offering Aries a number of different meats that he had brought in as a gift to the vegan champion, who was much happier with his banana. This whole exchange was stupid, but wrestling is stupid sometimes, and that’s ok.
Kongo Kong and the Monster’s Ball.
Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong have finally evoked the wrath of Abyss, with their goal to beat the original monster to prove that Kong is the new monster of IMPACT. Although I find Jimmy Jacobs to be a little too ‘teenage emo kid’, him and Father James Mitchell did a good job of building up a feud between the two in a way that actually made me care about their upcoming match – oh, they announced a match, a Monster’s Ball match.
I really have to give Mitchell a lot of the credit here, as he pulls off a Paul Heyman worthy promo – managing to make both Abyss and Kongo look formidable.
That Moonsault
https://youtu.be/jEHKwlMMTgY
Like I said in the preview for this week’s show, I got hyped for this match after watching the great video package they had put together, so I was ready.
This match was great, if a little short. They got a solid 7 minutes, and they each got to show off why they should be at the top of the Knockouts division. Rosemary pulled off a great German Suplex that would have made Chad Gable proud, not an easy ask on a bigger opponent.
For me however it was Valkyrie’s moonsault which was the highlight, as it showed just how athletic she can be – and if it had connected it could have been a fitting end to the match.
The match ended in a double count out, which seemed a pretty unimaginative way to end the match to keep both strong – Valkyrie did hit Rosemary with a ‘Road to Valhalla’ at the top of the ramp though, and after her moonsault I was fully behind her.
Fate, Destiny, Serendipity.
I haven’t asked anyone else I know if I should like this promo as much as I do, but for me it’s a standout performance by EC3 given the context of the upcoming Feast or Fired match.
https://youtu.be/7HfVXNfyfYg
Of course, EC3 knew that the world would know that he was off to NXT when he filmed this, which is all the more reason to love every word he says.
“I have seen my fate, I have seen my destiny, and serendipity is that case out there. I know which case I must grab, I know which case holds my future, which case is the catalyst to my future. Riches, fame, power, glory, a return to where I belong.”
Just perfect promo work, and it got me even more hyped for seeing him in NXT.
The Enlightened One
Just watch this one for yourself. It’s 5 minutes that you won’t regret.
Matt Sydal has finally given me a legitimate reason to boo loudly at Josh Matthews every Thursday. After his announcement, Matthews was even given the Grand Championship.
Matthews reminded me a little of Damien Sandow, ‘the intellectual savior of the unwashed masses’, which isn’t a terrible thing. Ultimately though I think these two are going to make a great heel pair for a while.
YOU’RE FIRED
https://youtu.be/Iuy_SOcTXLc
I’ve got a soft spot for the Feast or Fired match that I know a lot of other people don’t have – but unfortunately, they did make one big mistake here, and all for the sake of a cliff hanger.
I’ve never been a big fan of a true cliff hanger in wrestling. I don’t count injury scares, but to have a main event match that is all leading towards the reveal of who will have championship shots, and who will be fired, to then go and squander the finish to a decent show by not having the reveal… I don’t know, I guess we will just have to come back next week to find out.
With the knowledge that the events are pre-recorded and then cut together, sometimes months before they are broadcast, I can understand the reason to do this. It will no doubt drive up viewership for next week to find out who got what, but in kayfabe it actually makes no sense at all.
Everything about the IMPACT show is designed to give the impression that the show is live – they often talk about ‘tonight’ in the obviously pre-recorded segments for example. So the winners of these briefcases are going to carry them around for a week without knowing which contract they received? Is there going to be some kind of ‘key’ story to this? I have no idea.
While the payoff to the show was sub-par, I think that the setups we are given for ongoing feuds and storyline progression were great. I loved the Callihan match, and I think they should have positioned this as the Main Event. The knockouts match was also a highlight, and I can’t complain about the Sydal or Abyss promos.
What did you think of this weeks IMPACT Show? Are you excited for next week? Let us know in the comments below.
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