Hey, it’s WrestleMania 38 this weekend, and that means we get to watch more wrestling matches than most of us have friends.
We’ve got Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar in a winner takes all championship match, Becky vs. Bianca, Charlotte vs. Ronda, and almost certainly the return of Stardust to face Seth Rollins.
There are also many matches that could likely be thrown into the “toilet break” category, but that could be said for most wrestling shows.
Anyway, the reason you’re here is to see the opinion of one man on the internet, and that man on the internet is going to rank all 14 currently advertised WrestleMania matches from least exciting to most exciting.
Again, this is just my opinion, so if you don’t like it, you can find me on @AndyDatsonWT on Twitter.
14. Queen Zelina and Carmella (c) vs. Sasha Banks and Naomi vs. Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan vs. Natalya and Shayna Baszler – Women’s Tag Team Championship
The poor Women’s Tag Team Championship has never really been given a fair shot at being anything other than something for “insert two women who are inexplicably suddenly best friends” to feud over.
While this match isn’t going to be bad by any means, it’s just quite sad to see so many fantastic singles wrestlers being thrown into random tag teams and then all of them being put into one match.
If we can have Omos vs. Bobby Lashley, a match that exactly no-one cares about, then we can have some women’s singles matches on the card too.
Off the top of my head, have Sasha Banks vs. Rhea Ripley, or Shayna Baszler vs. Literally Anyone (she’s a new wrestler you haven’t heard of her).
The reason this is so far down this list is that WWE has not given me a reason to care, and no matter who wins the belts, it genuinely doesn’t matter at all. They’ll just be “best friends” for a bit, lose the belts, and then have 10 weeks of matches, most of which last 2 minutes.
Convince me to care, and I will care.
Prediction: Sasha Banks & Naomi
13. Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin (With Madcap Moss)
This match might have been last if it wasn’t for the exciting addition of Madcap Moss in Happy Corbin’s corner.
Perhaps this is the match when Drew finally hits someone with his sword. Unfortunately whoever gave it to him clearly didn’t also show him how to use it, because his aim is really quite terrible.
If Corbin is decapitated, then I’ll obviously have to put this entry higher up the list for sheer shock value, but as that’s probably not going to happen (they’ll save that for WrestleMania’s Backlash), I’m afraid I can’t bring myself to be excited about a match which will likely end pretty quickly and there is very little intrigue over the winner.
Prediction: Drew McIntyre
12. Omos vs. Bobby Lashley
There are quite literally no winners in this match…apart from the winner of course.
If Bobby Lashley wins, you take away everything that Omos has built over the past few months. Oh my, he’s so tall and not very agile and only knows a few moves…cough Great Khali cough. Sorry, it’s very dusty in here.
If Omos wins, why did you bring back former WWE Champion Bobby Lashley just to be beaten in a few minutes by Omos?
There was one report that perhaps Gable Steveson would be taking on Omos at WrestleMania, so perhaps WWE has some weird plan to make that happen, but as the match that’s being advertised, this is not an exciting prospect.
Neither man should be losing this match, so why put it on at all? Shove Omos in the Andre the Giant battle royal and have him throw out all the jobbers if you want him to look strong.
As for Lashley? He’s so much better than this match.
Prediction: No-one
11. Rey Mysterio and Dominik Mysterio vs. The Miz and Logan Paul
WWE has done a really stellar job in making me want to make the heel team to win this one, and it’s a heel team including Logan Paul of all people, one of the most unlikable men on YouTube…apart from Pete.
I know it doesn’t matter, but there is something deeply weird about Dominik giving his dad a piggy back to the ring, and then having them consistently cheat to win.
In terms of the actual match, I’m sure the actual match will be fine, and Logan Paul will likely have some fun spot planned that will pop the crowd.
As far as celebrity matches go, it’s definitely the second most exciting on the card, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be boring.
Honestly, I just want the Mysterio duo to break up and have a singles feud. Rey Mysterio should be a singles star, especially as he heads into the final years of his amazing career.
Prediction: Rey & Dominik
10. The Usos (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura & Rick Boogs – SmackDown Tag Team Championship
The next few entries can all be classed as “these are all going to be good matches and I am quite excited to see them”.
That’s the problem with these lists. There’s always a middle section which is basically closing your eyes and picking matches at random because they’re all equally exciting.
Any match with the Usos is worth watching, and the same can be said for Shinsuke Nakamura. Rick Boogs…not so much, but there’s no doubt WWE really thinks a lot of him, so there’s every chance we see a change of champions in this one.
The Usos losing their belts would also add to the intrigue for the main event of night two between Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar. If the Usos lose, then Roman is the only person in the Bloodline to hold a belt, and if he loses too then the group is significantly weakened.
By no means the most exciting tag match of the night, but certainly one to watch.
Prediction: Nakamura & Boogs
9. The New Day vs. Sheamus and Ridge Holland (with Butch)
This would probably be higher up the list if Pete Dunne, sorry I mean BUTCH, was in the match instead of Ridge Holland.
Nothing against Holland, but there’s no doubt in my mind that Butch is the more talented in ring performer. There’s every chance the line-up could change of course, but we shall see.
If you remember all of the New Day vs. The Bar matches from the past, you’ll know that Sheamus can create magic with the New Day, and while Ridge Holland isn’t Cesaro, he’s still a big boy who can do big boy things.
While no-one would have wanted it to go this way, the injury to Big E has given this match an extra bit of spice, with King Woods and Kofi fighting for their fallen brother.
As for the winner of the match, it’s very hard to call. The lurking Butch at ringside could have a big impact, especially with the group being very newly formed, but the New Day are fighting for Big E. Who knows.
Let’s flip a coin.
Prediction: Sheamus & Ridge Holland
8. Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn
If it wasn’t for my exceptionally high sense of dignity, I probably would have put this match a lot higher up the list, because let’s face it, this match is going to be brilliant.
Yeah, it won’t be the most technical match you’ve ever seen, but that’s not really the point, is it?
What we want from this match is for as many Jackass stars to turn up as possible, and hopefully for them all to do a series of increasingly insane stunts to entertain us.
Something like Johnny Knoxville entering the match via skydive, and landing directly on top of Zayn for the pin would work for me, but no pressure or anything.
I pretty much want this to be a 10 minutes Jackass movie in the middle of a wrestling ring, with Sami Zayn getting increasingly angry at the amount of people trying to help Knoxville win.
And you know what, I think Johnny is going to win to get revenge for Zayn throwing him out of the Royal Rumble.
This is gonna rule.
Prediction: Johnny Knoxville
7. RK-Bro (c) vs. The Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy – Raw Tag Team Championship
If their matches on Raw over the past few weeks are anything to go by, this is going to be the match of the weekend in terms of tag team wrestling. It could even be the match of the weekend as a whole, but that doesn’t mean it’s the one I’m anticipating the most.
Randy Orton is having a great time and is doing some of the best work of his career alongside Riddle in RK-Bro, and while the SHOOSH catchphrase is more irritating every time you hear it (thanks for ruining something organically funny, WWE), Alpha Academy are a great team too.
The last few weeks of Raw would suggest the Street Profits are leaning towards turning heel, and that for me makes this even more exciting. A heel Street Profits is something we’ve not really seen, and I think both men are easily charismatic enough to pull it off.
Sometimes adding more teams to a match dilutes the excitement (see women’s tag team championship match), but in this case it absolutely increases the excitement and intrigue for this match without question.
In terms of a winner, if the Profits really are turning heel, then giving them the belts on the big stage makes a lot of sense.
Prediction: Street Profits
6. Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory
If the Adam Cole vs. Pat McAfee match on NXT had never happened, this match would be nowhere near where it is in this list.
Thankfully it did happen, and we know that Pat is a natural performer and this match is going to be really fun to watch.
McAfee is utterly obnoxious and annoying, but he’s somehow managed to be both of these things and I still want him to win this match.
I don’t think he is going to win this match, because it feels like Vince is going “here’s your WrestleMania match” rather than “I’ll let you win at WrestleMania”, but that’s not really the point here.
Theory is a fantastic wrestler, and is clearly a big star of the future, and Pat McAfee is Pat McAfee. These two together will undoubtedly make magic together, and if McAfee doesn’t hit/get hit by at least 10 Canadian destroyers, then I will be very disappointed and will likely cry.
Prediction: Austin Theory
5. Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte Flair – SmackDown Women’s Championship
Ronda Rousey is not a natural talker, but she’s definitely a natural “beats people up person”.
Because this is my list and I can make choices without consequences, I’ve put this really high up because I want to see Charlotte Flair lose.
I don’t know what it is about Charlotte, but as soon as she wins anything, I just want her to lose as soon as possible. She become instantly more insufferable when she holds the belt, and if anyone is going to beat her, it’s Ronda.
I think a lot of people want this to be a long wrestling match where both women have chances of winning, but I want this to be an absolute squash match, where Ronda is booked to dominate.
If you have Ronda Rousey you may as well make her unbeatable again until you build another Becky Lynch to conquer her in 12 months time.
Prediction: Ronda Rousey
4. Edge vs. AJ Styles
I have to admit I am a bit hesitant to put this so high up, because I know Edge loves to have the world’s longest matches, but if last year’s main event with Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan is anything to go by, this will be great.
Heel Edge is definitely the best variety of Edge, and pair him with AJ Styles, arguably one of the greatest wrestlers ever to have lived, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for success.
Yes, the build to this match has been a bit weird and over the top, but as is often the case with big showcase WrestleMania matches, the moment the two wrestlers step in the ring, you immediately forget all of that.
Despite being just four years apart in age, this somehow still feels like the grizzled, old and bitter veteran Edge taking on the high-flying young talent in AJ Styles. It’s not how old you look, it’s how old you feel.
This has the potential to be the match of the weekend without a question, and part of me thinks it should be higher on this list.
Prediction: AJ Styles
3. Becky Lynch (c) vs. Bianca Belair – Raw Women’s Championship
While this week’s episode of Raw did very little to excite me for this match, I still think it’s going to be awesome. Oh no, a small amount of hair is missing.
Despite finally being booed, Becky Lynch is without a doubt the biggest female star WWE has, and Bianca Belair is one of the best, if not the best in-ring wrestler in WWE’s women’s division.
I know a lot of people liked it, but I really hated Becky Lynch returning at SummerSlam last year to immediately defeat Bianca, and I am very excited to see her get her revenge.
Not having Bianca win this match would be a huge mistake, and the rumours are that this one could open night one of WrestleMania, which makes it even more exciting if you ask me.
WrestleMania is made for the biggest matches, and there is no question for me that this is currently the biggest women’s match in terms of a pure wrestling match that WWE can currently put on.
Prediction: Bianca Belair
2. Roman Reigns (c) vs. Brock Lesnar (c) – Winner Takes All Championship Match
Yes, we’ve seen this match quite a few times before.
Thankfully I have a very short memory and all I can think about is the spectacle that this match is going to be. Say what you will about the winner takes all stipulation, but there is no bigger match than Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns in the main event of WrestleMania.
AEW has brilliant stars and brilliant matches, but if you want to see the biggest possible match in the world right now, then look no further.
Roman Reigns is a true megastar, and Brock Lesnar is Brock Lesnar. Yes, the build hasn’t been perfect, but there have been some moments of magic that have convinced me this match is going to be sensational.
I do fully expect Roman to win this, because if he doesn’t, then the build makes no sense at all. 10 minutes of pure chaos to close out a two-night WrestleMania is exactly what the doctor ordered.
Prediction: Roman Reigns
1. Seth Rollins vs. TBC (It’s Cody Rhodes)
Wrestling’s worst kept secret is going to be shared on Saturday night, and it’s going to be really cool…hopefully.
Seth Rollins has finally been given his spot at WrestleMania and Vince McMahon is going to reveal his opponent on Saturday. Talk about getting the rub.
All reports suggest Vince wants to strap a rocket to Cody as the man who left, made his own empire, but eventually decided there was no place like home.
It will be genuinely fascinating to see how Cody is received by the WrestleMania crowd. I would have to assume that the reaction will be crazy, but you never know.
Obviously he’s winning this one, because can you imagine if he lost? Even Vince McMahon isn’t capable of that level of stupidity.
Oh, and it should be Stardust Cody.
Prediction: Cody Rhodes
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