Fun fact, it’s been over 5 years since I last ran down my favouristest ever wrestlers, and well goodness me a lot’s happened in the wrestling world during that 5 years, hasn’t it?
NXT experienced its second (and potentially last) glory period, WWE absorbed the entire indie scene and then spat them out again like a bad prawn, and a little thing called AEW happened.
Which got me thinking about my list of favourite wrestlers and wondering if the person I am now, because we’re all of us ever-changing beings, learning, growing, becoming the director of a board game channel, phases that happen to us all at some point in our thirties, I wondered if that list is still true today and oh lads, it’s so different. Let me tell you how, and let me tell you why.
10. MJF
You know what I like? Tricky little dickheads, who desperately think they’re the hero of their own story, despite being swaggering bellends constantly driving barriers being themselves and others as the result of their wavering ego. I can’t quite put my finger on why that is.
Genuinely though, there’s more to my love of MJF other than the easy joke of ‘lol it me’. Wrestling can be incredibly simplistic at times, implacable blue-eyed goodness for the sake of goodness and sneering, moustache-twirling villainy for the sake of villainy. This is fine, I like Vince McMahon evil chicken panto schtick as much as the next mark, but at the end of the day that kind of broad strokes character work is quite easy and what I love about MJF is that nothing he does feels easy.
He’s a marriage of a lot of wonderful things, old-school in his commitment to his character, but new-school in offering emotional psychological depth, fucking understandable, fucking RELATABLE reasons for doing the awful things he does. Plus he’s great in the ring and held his own in a promo war with CM Punk, that’s special talent.
9. Hangman Page
You know what I like? Adams. Not quite sure why. Seriously though, this list is going to be entirely AEW don’t worry, although honestly if you’re worried about that like, get a grip my dude.
But if MJF has given us wrestling’s best modern villain, then Hangman Adam Page has given us wrestling’s best modern hero. And sure this list seems a little late, as no one cares about babyfaces once they’re actually on top rather than chasing, but damn it, Page’s journey from the birth of AEW to Full Gear 2021 is up there with Punk/MJF as the best, most textured, most historically cohesive wrestling stories told in full-on decades.
Also you know what we need more of, face wrestlers having virtues other than just bulletproof self-confidence and gags. This sounds like hyperbole, but Page is a beautiful unpicking of the standard Hulk Hogan/John Cena template, a reframing of what it is to be decent in an industry dominated by decades old ideals of heroism. The fact that Adam Page wears the outfit of the cowboy, a creature of throwback values and unexamined bravado and uses ‘cowboy shit’ to examine what decent masculine behaviour is in this day and age, it’s genuinely inspiring in a way that so few babyfaces actually are. Hulk Hogan offered men the wish fulfillment of being a superman, Adam Page offers men the wish fulfillment of being a good man.
8. The Rock
Cause he’s got the jokes! Like, honestly, the funniest wrestler of all time? And yeah, that counts for a big part of what makes sports entertainment sports entertaining.
People were happy to see The Rock arrive, because whenever he was around, the chances of a good time drastically increased and honestly it’s that simple. He was good enough in the ring, including some of the most memorable sells in wrestling history, but his charisma was on another level.
His promo style seems a little too corny in these PG years, and the way WWE have used Rock in the last few years has dulled his legacy, as a shiny beacon to casual fans that often left more industrially relevant wrestlers in shadow, but attitude heel Rock was great, attitude face Rock was fundamental to the greatest boom period in wrestling history, and ruthless aggression heel Rock was the best. He was the best.
Yay Toronto, yay.
7. Bray Wyatt
Like all of us, during the nadir of Bray Wyatt, aka 2016-2017 (brief exception of Elimination Chamber aside), I too wanted him to go away. But now that Bray has gone away, oh man, what a wonderfully weird mark he made on WWE.
And it’s not just because he created the Firefly Funhouse, the best dissection of John Cena, WWE and wrestling ever created. Seriously, the balls on the man to loudly and metaphorically proclaim ‘wrestlings a bit shit innit’ in the middle of WrestleMania, a true hero.
I love myth, lore, weird characters freaking people’s dicks off with strange occult language and consistent symbology. As a comics, cryptids and kooky horror fan, all of these things appeal to me greatly, I’ve always been a big Taker and Kane fan for these reasons but none of these guys ever had an entrance that blew my tits off as much as the Fiend’s debut at SummerSlam 2019. Ridiculous creativity and potentially the most bungled talent of all time.
6. Keith Lee
I know, I know, and yes, for consistency of the bit, I should really have the big Keith at number 1, and while I maintain that Keith Lee is the world’s most delicious cake given human form, the type of guy who’s say out loud ‘don’t mind if I do’ while standing alone at a buffet, and I find him to be ludicrously entertaining, there are a few wrestlers that pip him to the post, and Keith Lee is the type of guy who’d use the phrase ‘pip him to the post’.
Why do I love Keith Lee so much, for reals and for true, it’s because he’s a man in complete control of his craft, and his craft is making some of the most gifable bits of wrestling ever.
I think if someone criticises Keith Lee as being too focused on individual spots rather than the flow of a match as a whole, that person isn’t necessarily wrong, but when those spots are as delightful as throwing Isiah Kassidy into low orbit, beefing Adam Cole into the audience, or any of the rolodex of spots that he and Dominic Dijakovic toured the world with, those criticisms pale. He’s a hyper charismatic memory maker, and that’s more than good enough for me.
5. WALTER
Never calling him Gunther, and not just because I’m stubborn, but also because there is no one like WALTER. Not one person out there wrestles a match quite like this ludicrous Austrian.
Particularly in WWE, their character scripting is so bland and certain moves have become so ubiquitous that special attractions are thin on the ground. WALTER is a special fucking attraction. Merely in WWE alone, he’s put on today such a prestigious catalogue of modern classics that it’s frankly embarrassing.
Do I always want to see WALTER wrestle? Not necessarily, his high impact style can actually be a little gruesome at times, but his CV speaks for itself. Walter vs Tyler Bate, vs Pete Dunne, vs Undisputed Era, vs Tommaso Ciampa, vs Ilja Dragunov, some of the best WWE matches I can remember, all in the last three years. The level of talent and legitimacy it requires to have a chop be a convincing finisher, at an NXT TakeOver, where a canadian destroyer barely gets a two, that’s absolutely undeniable.
4. Brock Lesnar
Yeah suck it everyone, Brock’s fucking great and you know he is. Do I like WWE using him to crush rising stars, I do not, but that’s not on Brock, ok sometimes an awful match like the one he had against Dean Ambrose at Mania 32, sometimes that’s on Brock, but look shut up he’s one of the best in-ring performers in the history of combat sports.
He’s got insane physical charisma, one of the best, if not the best finishers of all time, he’s completely legitimate as a destroyer, has managed to stay a marquee special attraction for a full decade since he returned, he’s crazy athletic when he needs to be, he’s one of the best sellers in the business when he chooses to, and he chooses to more often than he gets credit for, and he’s one of the best kickout artists in the game.
And now he’s a little happy cowboy mechanic and having the time of his life. Brock’s great and anyone who disagrees is wrong forever.
3. Bryan Danielson
2021 was a hell of a year for the man formerly known as Daniel Bryan. The triple threat at Mania, his final WWE match on SmackDown, debuting at All Out, the time limit draw with Omega, the time limit draw with Hangman, honestly years don’t really get that much more significant.
And he’s just getting better with age. I used to love Daniel Bryan because he’s a peerless in-ring storyteller and has a way of connecting with the crowd which is borderline supernatural. Now I love Bryan Danielson because of all those things and also he’s the Dragon again and spends his days kicking people’s fucking heads in and doing so with a potty mouth. The best possible upgrade.
It’s genuinely a wonderful experience to watch a performer that you really admire, doing work that they find genuinely fulfilling, it puts a spark behind their eyes that can never quite be replicated and right now the American Dragon is having the time of his life. He deserves it. Five claps.
2. Shawn Michaels
The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels has the greatest WrestleMania resume of all time. He’s a performer responsible for, when the biggest wrestling night of the year rolls around, having the best match on the card. Shawn vs Kurt, vs Vince, vs Taker, vs Flair, vs Triple H and Benoit, his match against Cena is redonkulously good.
He’s crazy good at telling wrestling stories, knowing exactly when to rest, exactly when to come alive, he almost never blows a big spot, and he’s had so many big spots in his career.
He’s been the wrestler to debut countless new stipulations, Hell in a Cell, Ladder Matches, Elimination Chamber, because he’s quite simply the most reliable Big Match performer of all time. Fantastic seller, steller technician, amazing finisher, who’s your daddy Montreal, he’s the best. Well, almost the best.
1. Kurt Angle
I love Kurt Angle so much, because he somehow managed to be one of the greatest wrestlers and greatest sports entertainers, while never letting one compromise the other.
It is legitimately unbelievable how quickly he adapted to the WWE style of wrestling and character work. It is legitimately unbelievable how he managed to pull off being someone who everyone knew could destroy pretty much the entire locker room in a shoot fight, whilst also being the locker room’s funniest dork. The fact that he could do the Sexy Kurt segment AND follow it up with the Angle/Michaels match at Mania 21 is a staggering vindication of how there’s never been a better WWE wrestler than Kurt Angle. I love him and my love is personal and subjective and very real.
The very first PPV I stayed up to watch was No Mercy 2000 where Kurt Angle won the WWE Championship. Over the next few months I watched him pull Twin Magic against Taker, survive a 6 man Hell in a Cell, throw The Rock around, have a ludicrously good feud with Chris Benoit, wear a cowboy hat, milk-o-mania have his head shaved bald, feud with Lesnar, go Super Saiyan as the olympic wrestling machine, his run was just so endlessly wonderful and his combination of top comedy and top ringwork just seemed directly designed to appeal to everything I loved about pro wrestling.
Kurt Angle will always be my favourite wrestler of all time. It’s factual, it’s absolutely factual.
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