Hi, best friends! It’s me, Adam, your best friend. When your other best friends, Ollie, Laurie & Pete aren’t around to tell you the news, it’s me! Your best friend.
I’m here to tell you about all the news they kept from you, cause they’re not really your best friend. They know your secrets.
And they’re gonna use them against you. I’m trying to help you. Because I’m your best friend.
These are eight news stories you may have missed from the last week.
8. CM Punk Mocks WWE
Full disclosure, this list is being recorded before AEW Grand Slam Rampage, so oh wow how great was CM Punk vs Powerhouse Hobbs, or alternatively oh man, can you believe that CM Punk vs Powerhouse Hobbs was bad?
Regardless of the quality of the match though, there’s no doubt CM Punk will remain a happy, smiley man in AEW who’s just happy to be there in front of all his fans, look at him smile.
He just loves a bit of wrestling doesn’t he, bless him.
He said so in front of over 20,000 fans at the Arthur Ashe Stadium at AEW Grand Slam Dynamite – AEW Dynamite Grand Slam? One of the two – which is the largest audience AEW has ever drawn.
Quite the achievement for the young company, and the arena was packed to the rafters – don’t think about COVID, don’t think about COVID – and it was announced earlier in the week that extra tickets were being sold for the event ahead of it taking place on Wednesday.
Revealing on Twitter that this would most likely take the attendance over the 20,000 mark, Dave Meltzer was then quote tweeted by CM Punk, who still hasn’t lost his little tongue-in-cheek quips to WWE just yet.
Punk simply responded with ‘93,173’, which is the reported and definitely 100% accurate attendance for WrestleMania III, well-known for being one of the more egregious occasions of WWE inflating their attendance figures.
Cheeky Punk. Cheeky.
7. Max Caster Was Never Suspended
And speaking of cheeky AEW boys, last month one half of The Acclaimed, Max Caster, cut a controversial rap promo in which he made a few ill-advised comments.
At the time, there were rumors Caster may even be released from the company, but it was commonly believed he had been suspended and sent to sensitivity training, while his tag partner Anthony Bowens began appearing by himself in singles matches for a while.
However, it now turns out that Caster was never actually suspended at all by AEW. How do we know this? Tony Khan rapped about it of course. Wait, what?
Appearing after AEW Dynamite Grand Slam Dynamite – pretty sure that’s the name of the show – Tony Khan took on Caster in a rap battle, with the former being aided by actual rapper Lil Uzi Vert.
Khan mentioned as part of his rap that he would suspend Caster for another 30 days, then seemingly realizing what he said, he cleared up that he never actually suspended him in the first place.
Sick burns, Tony. Drop them…bars? That’s what rappers say right?
6. MJF’s Parents Don’t Like MJF
Completing the trifecta of stories about cheeky AEW boys, we finally arrive at probably the cheekiest of them all: MJF.
Now it’s pretty well known that MJF is one of most hated and/or loved characters in all of wrestling right now, with consistent and genuine heel heat on every show.
People love to hate MJF. And as it turns out, even the people who you think would love him also hate him.
MJF’s parents attended Dynamite AEW Slam Grand Dynamite – nailing this show name – and took to Twitter to show off what they were bringing: a sign that says “we’re MJF’s parents and we think he sucks too”, while his dad wore an “I Hate MJF” t-shirt.
The caption of the tweet said “Probably NOT gonna make the cover of Parents Magazine but see you at Arthur Ashe tonight!”, to which MJF responded with a simple “f*** off mom”.
The F in MJF stands for Family, clearly.
5. New Gimmick For Kip Sabian
Someone who hasn’t been seen in AEW in months is Kip Sabian, who used to tag with Miro before Miro became literally the greatest person ever.
I mean seriously, just his promo line from the Grand Slam Dynamite AEW Dynamite show is enough to prove my point: “my god asks for pain, and my wife asks for pleasure. And sometimes pain, too.” What a man.
Anyway, it seems Kip might be returning to AEW soon with a new gimmick in tow, as some teasers have been uploaded to YouTube, showing him standing in front of a projector playing his best moments from AEW with a cardboard box over his head that has “underrated” and “over it” written on it.
Sabian has been out as he underwent shoulder surgery, but it looks like we might be seeing him back soon.
4. Becky Lynch Told Asuka She Was Pregnant Beforehand
Moving over to the other side now, and it’s rare in WWE’s ultra manufactured and tightly scripted factory that there are many moments of genuine emotion, however one of the highlights of the past few years was Becky Lynch announcing she was pregnant just after Money in the Bank 2020, where she handed the Raw Women’s Championship to Asuka, who had won the briefcase the previous night.
Asuka’s reaction was very heartwarming, and it was reported at the time that it was a shoot, and that Asuka genuinely didn’t know that Lynch was pregnant. But now it’s come out that THAT WAS ALL A LIE. WHAT.
During a media session in London as part of WWE’s UK tour, Becky revealed she told Asuka beforehand, but that she wasn’t supposed to.
Which means the whole thing was FAKE. THROW IT OUT. THROW IT ALL OUT. I’M DONE. THAT’S THE FINAL STRAW. HOW DARE THEY-
3. TLC Date Revealed
The December pay-per-view in WWE in recent years has been TLC: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs, apart from that one time it was Tables, Ladders, Chairs & Stairs, but let’s all actively try and forget that, shall we?
Though if this year’s Extreme Rules card is anything to go by, TLC this year will stand for Totally Lax Card, made up of normal matches. Last year, Bray Wyatt got burned alive by Randy Orton, do you remember? That actually happened. Dumb, that.
This year’s show, according to PWInsider, will be taking place on December 19, which is contrary to what WWE had scheduled previously, which called for a pay-per-view on December 12, the week before.
Unless they’re doing what they did in 2020 with SummerSlam and Payback and having one pay-per-view a week after another one. Please don’t do that.
2. Damien Sandow Was Supposed To Win The World Title
Hey, do you remember Damien Sandow? He was really good, wasn’t he?
Not sure why I’m particularly drawn to smarmy, articulate a-holes, he’s not like me, shut up, but before he was the most loved babyface on the roster in the form of Damien Mizdow, Sandow was the Money in the Bank briefcase holder, and he made the briefcase all posh and stuff, look at it, it was wonderful.
In a recent interview with Sportskeeda, the former Sandow revealed that he was actually originally supposed to win the World Heavyweight Title from that Money in the Bank win, but those plans were obviously nixed.
Apparently, he was going to successfully cash in, and then Cody Rhodes would chase him for the belt, but that was instead replaced with John Cena coming back early from injury, winning the belt, and then Sandow failing to cash in on him.
Yep, that sounds about right to me.
1. Tetsuya Naito Pulled From The G1
In years gone by, New Japan’s G1 tournament would be seen as the hardcore wrestling fan’s Christmas.
Some of the best wrestlers in the world, having some of the best matches in the world, rinse and repeat for like a month. Delightful stuff.
Some of the shine from New Japan has definitely been eroded away recently, what with a handful of their top stars leaving to form AEW, ill-advised booking decisions such as EVIL’s World Title win, the redesign of said title and retirement of the Intercontinental belt, which went down SUPER well with all the fans, and some really bad luck with injuries.
And it seems their bad luck continues because just as this year’s G1 was getting underway, it was revealed that in his opening match, Tetsuya Naito was injured, with damage to his meniscus and MCL, and he’s been forced to withdraw from the rest of the tournament.
New Japan just cannot catch a break, can it?
To make sure you stay updated with all the latest wrestling news, add WrestleTalk.com to your Google Discover feed and follow us on Twitter!
Comments.
Loading comments…