We’ve all gone through phases in our past. Chopper Pete was a parkour expert, Oli Davis once sold used socks out of the back of his dad’s Morris Marina, Laurie once killed a guy, and Luke found great success under his previous gimmick, multi-Academy Award Winner Hilary Swank.
Pretty much every WWE wrestler you can name has a weird alter ego tucked away deep in their closet, John Moxley was British in Puerto Rican wrestling promotions for some reason, The Rock’s initial name was Flex Kavana, replete with THAT HAIR, and season’s greetings Kane, no one is going to forget the Christmas Creature.
Mostly though, when wrestlers make it to the Big Dub that is when they finally find themselves, carving out an identity that will become forever linked with their name.
Mostly. Here’s looking at you Scotty Goldman, whoever you went on to be. It’s time to open up the history books as we share 10 Weird WWE Gimmicks You Forgot Wrestlers Had.
10. Evil Rugby Player – Cesaro
For a man who never had enough personality for WWE to award him a sustained push, Cesaro sure has a lot of nicknames and gimmicks, huh?
The King of Swing, the Swiss Superman, yodelling, saying things in five languages, Aksana, being a James Bond themed strippergram, but did you know his starting gimmick was as an evil rugby player?
Antonio Cesaro debuted in April 2012 (against his future partner in headphones Tyson Kidd no less) to kick ass and cuck Teddy Long and he’s all out of ass.
Wearing tape around his thighs, which was the rugby custom at the time, according to Michael Cole, Cesaro was a former rugby player who was expelled from the sport for excessive aggression, before Big Chez starts laying into Kidd with stiff punches to the gut and headbutts.
Like most of Cesaro’s gimmicks it was eventually left behind, until all that was left was his current schtick, the best wrestler in WWE to have never won a world championship.
9. Like, I Want To Say… Jewish Deadpool? – Colt Cabana
Colt Cabana is one of the greatest independent wrestlers of all time, not necessarily because he’s the best in the ring, he’s very good, but mostly because he was one of the first major names to prove that you COULD make a living on the independents.
Because he certainly didn’t make one during his brief few months on SmackDown as Scotty Goldman. Despite wrestling as Colt Cabana in OVW and being TV Champion, he was rechristened Scotty Goldman once Vince McMahon found out he was Jewish.
It really hard to pin down what Goldman’s gimmick, like he has biff pow sock explosions on his tights so maybe he was a comic book nerd, he would hit people with the Rearview so he was a goofball, he did the Dusty Rhodes leg wiggle and hit the bionic elbow so he’s Cody’s dad and the only times he was allowed to speak on camera he interview a paper bag dressed as The Great Khali and also one time drew attention to the face he was in a picture in picture interview and tried talking to himself in the ring, so maybe a weird fourth wall breaking schtick?
Weird stuff and Goldman was set packing after less than six months with a win record of 0%
8. Incestous Twin – Paul Burchill
Oh no. Pirate Paul Burchill is one of the most cherished weird little footnotes in wrestling history.
His finisher, the C4, was rad, his entrance, swinging down to the ramp on a rope, was rad, and the one time he made William Regal dress as his pirate wench was… well it’s not all gold.
But while most hardcore fans can well remember Pirate Paul, how many of us managed to scrub from our minds Weird Wants To F**k His Sister Paul. WWE is just your average family-friendly company that has on multiple occasions, literally flirted with onscreen incest.
Mark Henry had a sexual experience with his sister which he admitted to on camera, Vince McMahon was floated as the father of his daughter Stephanie’s baby, the Beaver Cleavage character desperately wanting to boink his mom, and then there’s this.
From 2008 to 2010, Paul Burchill appeared sporadically on WWE TV accompanied by his kayfabe sister Katie Lee and from their very first promo it was clear where WWE was going.
Katie was stroked his arm, talked about how beautiful her brother was and how whatever Katie wants, Katie gets, and apparently what Katie wanted was that pirate D. After WWE went PG in mid-2008 a few months later, the incest angle was dropped leaving Burchill will pretty much nothing to do.
7. Golga – Earthquake
John Tenta is often regarded as one of the most talented big men in professional wrestling, actually starting as a sumo wrestler in Japan with an over 20 match winning streak under his considerable belt.
In the world of pro wrestling Tenta had a number of gimmicks some of which were really successful, like Earthquake, winning the tag belts as half of the Natural Disasters. Some, like The Shark, were not, but that’s still pretty memorable, look at that singlet.
No, but just look at that singlet. Look at that singlet though. But who remembers Tenta’s final gimmick when he returned to the WWF in the mid 90s. Probably not many, considering that he wore a pervert’s choice leather mask throughout the entirety of it.
Tenta was Golga in the Oddities, a stable of misfits featuring Giant Silva, Kurrgen, Luna Vachon and Golga, whose gimmick was that he has a deformed face (poor John Tenta) and an unsettling love of Cartman from South Park, and he spent most of his time carrying a cartman plushing around and dancing.
Wrestling’s f**king weird forever.
6. Johnny Polo – Raven
Normally, in the journey from gross teenager to gross adult, people throw away their ripped denim in favour of khakis, and their foul-smelling plaid in favour of polo shirts. Raven, always the counter-culturist, did it the other way around.
One of the most iconic wrestling gimmicks of the 90s, few can forget the image of Raven sat in the corner of the ring, his leather jacket, his shredded jorts, his christ like pose, a twisted angry poet, a psychotic cult leader and the face of disenfranchised 90s grunge.
Cut to two years earlier in WWF and here’s Johnny Polo, a preppy rich kid, managing The Quebecers and coming to the ring with a polo mallet and enough pastel t-shirts to render you legally blind.
It is unfathomable that they are the same person. Raven’s career in TNA and beyond has proved that he’s more than capable of re-inventing himself in startling ways, here’s looking at you Serotonin Raven with the weird mouth jacked thing, but the journey from Johnny Polo to Raven may very well be the most drastic 180-degree gimmick change in wrestling history.
Also look here he is in WCW as Scotty Flamingo, a surfer gimmick, QUOTH the raven.
5. Who – Jim Neidhart
Where? WWF? When? 1996? Why? F**k knows. Who? Yes.
So, Jim The Anvil Neidhart was one of the most recognisable wrestlers in the 90s, from his work in the great Hart Foundation to his pointy beard, to his work in the even better Hart Foundation in 1997, The Anvil was a well-known and fairly popular gimmick.
For reasons that I can only assume are almost definitely cocaine-related Vince and Co. decided to repackage Jim Neidhart in 1996 as a masked wrestler called Who, so that those in commentary could run their own interminable imitation of classic vaudeville bit who’s on first.
Yes, while WCW was changing the game with the nWo, WWE were recycling comedy bits from 59 years ago.
Who’s in the ring? Yes. Do you get it? The man in the ring is who? What? Who is in the ring? That’s savio vega? No, who is wrestling Savio vega, exactly! And then you nose starts to bleed.
4. Make A Difference Fatu – Rikishi
Rikishi’s had a list of gimmicks in WWE that’s as big as his own bodacious bum.
He was a savage wildman in the Headshrinkers, he played a dollar store bane in the form of The Sultan, then he was a happy go lucky buttocks jiggler, and then a happy go lucky attempted vehicular murderer, and then a happy go lucky buttocks jiggler once more.
But in amongst all that silliness, y’all remember Make A Difference Fatu? For the briefest of spells in 1995, Rikishi was repacked from Headshrinker Fatu into a far more eloquent man growing up on the mean streets of [checks notes] Sunnydale, California.
Wait THAT Sunnydale. I would 100% watch a show about Rikishi hunting vampires. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as cool as that, instead, Fatu was all about telling kids to stay in school, to not do drugs, and instead chill out, max and relax all cool, and at some point, he probably sat the wrong way on a chair to try and keep it real with you.
He’d end all of his gimmicks with Make A Difference, which was ironic because he was almost immediately repackaged, never to be heard from again.
3. Impersonator – Charlie Haas
Oh man, the World Greatest Tag Team was awesome. Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas, the original American Alpha, under the tutelage of Kurt Angle, mixing it up in some of the best tag bouts of the early ruthless aggression era 2000s.
The two men went their separate ways with Shelton Benjamin trying a bunch of different gimmicks like the gold standard, or having a mother. Charlie Haas had a tougher time of things.
Without a gimmick, he found himself off TV for months at a time and then they gave him a gimmick and oh no. A full six years before Damien Sandow started playing weekly dress-up, before Curtis Axel started AxelMania, there was Charlie Haas who appeared on Raw from mid to late 2008, dressing up as various other WWE superstars because WWE’s sense of humor has gangrene.
He was Charlito, Charln Cena, Charles Haas Layfield (come on guys, JCL is right there), Jim Haas, The Great Charli, ok that’s actually uncanny, Haas Hogan, Stone cold Steve Haastin, the Glamahaas Beth Pheonix, Bret Haas, MVC, and Santa Claas.
Like, genuinely though, it’s very dumb, and didn’t get him over, but bless Charlie Haas. He really went for it, but never got his Mizdow moment.
2. BusinessMan With A Big Watch – Roman Reigns
Before the tribal chief became quite possibly the best gimmick of the year, it was impossible to imagine Roman Reigns outside of his shield fatigues.
However, for one month back in NXT in 2012, one month before he debuted at Survivor Series in that turtleneck, Roman Reigns was a completely different character.
He was a high-rise, big-city businessman with a management team, and a big watch and he would sign writing checks in the air. Like, that was one of his signature things.
When someone would interview him he would point to his big watch, say that they were operating on Reigns time, before delaying the interview by taking, and I’m not making this up, a reigns check.
Seriously look at him in his businessman suit. Look at the size of those fucking trousers, that’s a man who knows his way about some stonks.
That’s in October and by the year was out the man with the big watch would be the big dog, but you know what, going back and watching those look at my big business dick promos, there’s a significant amount of tribal chief charisma in there. Goddamn WWE miscast him for YEARS, huh?
1. Hulk Hogan’s War Bonnet
Look at Hulk Hogan’s stupid hat. How am I just now finding out about Hulk Hogan’s stupid hat. Good LORD.
Sorry in 1988, the story goes that the Hulkster was losing his hair and getting pretty sensitive about it, so he wanted to start wearing a hat. That’s a very silly explanation but you know, Hulk Hogan.
So WWE ever ready to merchandise another bit of Hulk Hogan absolute bollocks, slapped together this, the patented Hulk Hogan War Bonnet, a gladiators helmet with the SmackDown fist’s little brother glued to the top. Dignity.
Can’t buy it, except now you can. Imagine wearing this to school, the bullies would be fucking OBLIGATED to destroy you. The Hulkster even wore it to the ring at a madison square garden house to hand bad news brown his first loss.
The ref went down, both men fought over who would get to wears the world’s stupidest hat outside of Jamiroquai’s closet, before Hogan put it on, headbutt bad news brown with the helmet fist, like a total heel and pinned him.
Believe it or not, the War Bonnet did not catch on. But I want one more than I’ve wanted anything in my life.
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