And so I’m back, from outer space, I just walked in to find you here ready to read a list of all the news stories that you might have missed this week.
Because even though at Wrestletalk we’re dedicated to bringing you the biggest, loudest, sweatiest, CM Punkiest new stories every single day, some stories slip through the cracks even if they are often very lovely, or very weird, or in the case of Number one, very much a crime against an entire period of American history.
I’m Adam from WrestleTalk and here are 10 news stories from the week you might have missed.
10. The Biggest News Story Of The Year
In the same few news weeks that saw talks of CM Punk and Daniel Bryan joining AEW, Jay White showing up on IMPACT to recruit more Bullet Club members, Hiroshi Tanahashi appearing on AEW, and WWE using sad Karrion Kross to bludgeon the best wing of their own f**king company, we also got by far the biggest and sexiest news story of the year.
Brock Lesnar wearing a cowboy hat. My loins weren’t ready for that. That’s a point-blank execution of my loins, using a weaponized cube of hot cowboy Pork.
Brock was seen rooting and/or tooting at music festival Twin Cities Summer Jam – yes we will be suing for the flagrant infringement of SummerJam – and he was wearing a cowboy hat, which proceeded to go viral, primarily because he looked like the Milk Bar kid grew up to become a bouncer and a rundown strip club.
Heart-breakingly the photo did not show Brock’s feet, so we can’t confirm if he was wearing his infamous blue jeans, black loafers combo.
9. The Wrestling Machine Was Almost All Elite
WrestleMania 35 will be remembered for a few different reasons: women main eventing the show for the first time ever, the peak of KofiMania, and it being about 17 days long. One match that might be forgotten from that card was Baron Corbin retiring Kurt Angle, one of my least favorite sentences in the English language.
Interestingly, Angle revealed in an interview with Fightful, hey Sean, you’re always on my mind you hot little slice of vanilla cake – that he received offers to wrestle from both AEW and IMPACT Wrestling – both of which he declined.
He said he was flattered by the offer, but his body was too beaten up to compete at the level he once did.
IMPACT supposedly offered him a one-shot deal, but AEW apparently had a lot more in mind for the Olympic gold medallist, and you know what, fair enough to Kurt Angle for wanting to preserve his peerless body of work as best he can, he remains my favorite wrestler of all time, and I very much enjoyed his retirement match at WrestleMania 34, teaming with Ronda to defeat Triple H and Stephanie.
8. Wrestling Observer Fan Banned From NXT
NXT this week was moved to the SyFy channel to make room for those pesky Olympics, and was also pre-taped.
As is the nature with pre-taped episodes, spoilers can often leak from fans in attendance for the shows. Or even if there are no fans, sometimes members of your own roster can do it, like at the Great American Bash last year.
The guy who did that has still never been seen again, are we 100% sure WWE didn’t kill him?
Regardless, it seems NXT security were on high alert for any potential spoilers getting out, as according to fan in attendance JJ Williams, who contributes to the Wrestling Observer, he was singled out due to his affiliation with the Observer, a picture was taken of his ID, he was forced to delete any pictures he had taken, and was escorted out of the building.
JJ also noted that several others in attendance, including media personnel, were sharing spoilers with no consequences.
Never one to back down from an opportunity, Tony Khan then jumped in, saying he was looking forward to seeing JJ at AEW Dynamite Homecoming from Daily’s Place next week.
That’s hospitable, maybe he’ll treat you to a dominos, hopefully they bought a new pizza cutter.
7. New Junior Heavyweight Champion
New Japan Pro Wrestling held their Wrestle Grand Slam event from the Tokyo Dome this week, which saw Shingo Takagi successfully retain his IWGP Heavyweight Championship over Hiroshi Tanahashi, before the latter then appeared on AEW Fight For The Fallen, what a weird timeline this is.
However, slightly less newsworthy from New Japan this week, but also of note, El Desperado was unsuccessful in retaining his IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship, losing out to Robbie Eagles.
Eagles’ win marks the first time an Australian has ever held the belt.
Elsewhere on the show, Zack Sabre Jr. & TAICHI won the IWGP Tag Championship from the team of Tetsuya Naito and SANADA from Los Ingobernables de Japon. That’s not very Tranquilo.
6. All Elite Wedd-stling
AEW star and member of The Factory Nick Comoroto heartwarmingly proposed to his long-term girlfriend during an indie show this week.
N’aww. See, wrestling’s nice sometimes. Should have swerved him though. Somewhere Vince Russo is very upset at such a missing swerving opportunity.
5. All The Wrestling Birthdays
As well as all of the wrestling news, there were also all of the wrestling birthdays. Hangman Page turned 30, tweeting: “thank you for all the birthday wishes and for not reminding me that at 30 statistically speaking over 38% of my life is over oh god now I thought about it.”
What an anxious millennial, but also you’re almost four years younger than me, so f**k off.
Joe D’Orazio, a British professional wrestler who later worked as a referee, turned 99. He is considered the world’s oldest living wrestler.
Dolph Ziggler turned 40, here’s to you, Zigglypuff, and Triple H celebrated the big 52, with Stephanie McMahon tweeting: “Happy Birthday to my badass, Motorhead loving, man of my dreams!”
We assume that was about Triple H, otherwise that’s a hell of a subtweet.
4. Super Porky Passes Away
Unfortunately there was some sadness in the news this week too, as lucha libre legend Super Porky, or Brazo de Plata, passed away on Monday at the age of 58.
Real name José Luis Alvarado Nieves, Brazo de Plata had wrestled since the 70s, including a brief stint in WWE in the Juniors division in 2005-2006 as Super Porky.
3. Kaz Makes Return To IMPACT
Here we are, back at wrestlers making appearances for companies they’re not contracted to.
The AEW-IMPACT-New Japan-Ring of Honor-AAA-NWA coalition government continued the cross-promotion in IMPACT, with not only Jay White returning and confronting Kenny Omega, but on this week’s episode, Frankie Kazarian made his return to IMPACT in his continued Elmer Fudd-style pursuit of The Elite.
Kaz hadn’t been seen in IMPACT since 2014, despite making a huge name for himself in the promotion as part of Fortune. Yikes. But also being awesome and pairing with Christopher Daniels before leaving for Ring of Honor, and eventually AEW.
Wrestlers are all over the place these days. Like bloody moths. Stay still, ya bastards.
2. Andrade To IMPACT Fell Through
One name that’s had a somewhat clunky start to their AEW run has been Andrade El Idolo, who debuted in confusion after the live crowd completely missed Vickie Guerrero announcing him.
But it’s since come out in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter that Andrade could have had a pretty awesome moment in Nashville penciled in before the talks fell through.
Andrade was reportedly set to close out IMPACT’s Slammiversary by confronting Kenny Omega, but El Idolo and Impact couldn’t come to terms.
Instead, that spot went to Bullet Club leader Jay White, continuing the challenge of the superfriends. To WWE’s Legion of Doom.
1. Bringing Sexy Ry-Back
After WWE realized they’d completely shot themselves in the foot by releasing so much talent, and then started to freak out when the reports came out about CM Punk and Daniel Bryan heading to AEW, it seems they’re looking to change up several parts of the their roster, including several NXT call-ups such as Toni Storm, Tegan Nox & Shotzi Blackheart minus the Tegan and minus the Blackheart, and Karrion Kross.
But we might be getting some more big returns soon. And by big I mean, The Big Guy.
Going by a new video that Ryback posted on his Twitter of him at a chiropractor session, he ends the video by saying “see you at SummerSlam” to no-one in particular.
That was after he farted on the doctor of course. Because yeah why not.
Another great session on the shoulder today with Dr. Carlos and Dr. Sean. Couldn’t do this without these guys! 🙏 pic.twitter.com/biVOIFIKk3
— RYBACK (@Ryback) July 29, 2021
I don’t… I don’t want to see Ryback again. I think I’m full.
To make sure you stay updated with all the latest wrestling news, add WrestleTalk.com to your Google Discover feed and follow us on Twitter!
Comments.
Loading comments…