WWE seems to have hit a roadblock in the weeks leading up to the first of its controversial bi-annual events in Saudi Arabia. Hmmm, Roadblock? That would be an incredible name for a pay-per-view. Anyway, let’s shelve that for another day.
What I mean is that the company has found itself caught between two stools. With Super ShowDown simultaneously billed as an exhibition for its middle-eastern fanbase, a progression of WWE’s major storylines and – somehow – an attempt at bridging disparate cultures with a view to ushering in progressive reforms (good luck with that last one!), WWE has found itself torn on the path forward.
And it’s this multiple intent that lies at the root of the malaise. A look at the card for next Friday’s event reveals WWE’s core problem: trying to entertaining casuals as well as satisfy a hardcore following. It’s the void between these two aspirations that the company and its fans have found themselves in recent weeks, with the company unable to fully commit to either.
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So instead we’re left with this pseudo out-of-continuity mess, where nothing means anything going in and none of the results will matter coming out. A menagerie of matches that have received no build whatsoever (Undertaker vs Goldberg), goofy exhibitions with no stakes (50-man Battle Royal) and throwaway title matches (Rollins vs Corbin and Kofi vs Ziggler).
Monday’s Raw shone a spotlight on these issues, as for much of the show’s three-hour runtime, nothing happened. There were times when I could almost feel the wheels spinning aimlessly beneath us, driven by WWE’s determination to maintain the status quo. We’re in a holding pattern, just grimly trying to get through the next few weeks without any major PR scares. The truth though is that while this creative paralysis allows WWE to avoid any major mishaps, an unfortunate byproduct is that it leaves little room for anything good to happen either.
So with Raw in the proverbial dire straits, hope once again shifts to SmackDown Live to provide some inspiration. Surely the blue brand – with its health-conscious tag team champions, wholesome WWE champion and neurotic 24/7 Champion – presents a more alluring product. Or at least one where more wrestling happens. Let’s find out together, shall we? On with the review!
The Best of SmackDown Live
The KO Who Cried Wolf
One of the negatives from last week’s show was the purpose behind the offscreen attack on Big E. Or rather, the apparent lack of any such purpose. On the same night that Big E made his triumphant return, he was supposedly taken out backstage by Kevin Owens. Except we never saw the attack. And the only reason we were given to suspect that Owens was the perpetrator, was the word of Big E.
This week, KO started the show by presenting his version of events. And they were quite simple: he wasn’t responsible for the attack on E. Because he’s a good person.
Here comes KO! @FightOwensFight #SDLive pic.twitter.com/BcvygUp2Sy
— WWE (@WWE) May 29, 2019
Now I know the natural inclination is to assume that Owens is lying (an accusation immediately levelled by Kofi Kingston when he interrupted this promo)… but what if he isn’t? What if there’s another man responsible for taking out members of the New Day, just lurking in the shadows? Even worse, what if Big E is lying? What if he was never jumped at all?
Don’t get me wrong, I have no desire to see a Big E heel turn leading to the breakup of the New Day. I’m also not typically a conspiracy theorist either. But there was something about the bizarre circumstances of last week’s angle, as well as KO’s denial last night, that just has my spidey senses tingling. Watch this space.
A Sequel Better Than the Original
Kofi and Owens had a pretty good encounter at Money in the Bank. But the pair’s rematch on last night’s SmackDown may have outstripped the original.
Owens took most of the match, leaving just enough room for Kofi to play the plucky underdog. That is to say that there were moments when I caught myself entertaining the thought that KO might actually pull out the win. Most notably when he landed a massive Senton off the top rope.
INCOMING! @FightOwensFight @TrueKofi #SDLive pic.twitter.com/BErNYgIlSd
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 29, 2019
Ultimately though, sanity prevailed as Kofi was able to dodge an Owens attack in order to hit the Trouble in Paradise. Presumably this result puts the Kingston / Owens feud on ice for a while. But with matches like this, the prospect of the two again crossing paths in the future is pretty exciting.
The Planet’s Champion Faces Mr Steaks and Weights
In a pairing ripped straight from our collective dreams, Daniel Bryan and Otis finally came face-to-face.
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Bryan and Rowan berated the prevalence of fracking in the barbaric, ignorant state of Oklahoma, prompting the decidedly less refined Heavy Machinery to come out to confront the tag team champions. The former pairing issued a challenge to Bryan and Rowan, which the tag champs accepted… just not in the vile, cretinous state of Oklahoma.
So we know who the tag champs next opponents are, but not when the match will go down. We know it won’t be Super ShowDown though, as Bryan has decided not to travel to that particular beautiful, progressive city.
Shane’s Mid-Card of Evil
My evaluation of Shane McMahon is as wildly inconsistent as his promo work has been. But when Shane introduces an overly dramatic video hype piece showcasing the last 20-plus years of his career, and then immediately congratulates the “very talented” Kevin Dunn for putting it together, I’m going to praise the man. This was expert-level trolling, particularly when he chastised the fans for booing Dunn.
Shane McMahon Appreciation Night was rudely interrupted by R-Truth and Drake Maverick in their continued beef over the 24/7 Title. R-Truth quickly dispatched Maverick before getting absolutely wrecked by Elias and McIntyre, allowing Elias to take advantage of the 24/7 Rule and claim R-Truth’s Championship.
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Shane then immediately booked a tag match between Elias & McIntyre and R-Truth & Roman Reigns, in the process suspending the 24/7 Rule until the conclusion of that match. Presumably so that Roman can pin Elias without becoming the 24/7 Champion. Because that belt should never be allowed to escape of the undercard vortex! But we’d have to wait until later in the night to find out whether my prediction became reality.
A ‘Big Dog’ Running Wild
With R-Truth in poor condition after being flattened by Elias and McIntyre, the impetus fell on Roman Reigns to take on Shane McMahon’s two flunkies.
This match adhered to WWE’s tried-and-tested method of tag team wrestling. The heels were in the ascendency for most of the bout, isolating R-Truth and slowly wearing him down. But once Roman got the hot tag, the match finally shifted into a higher gear.
He came in with fire in his belly, hitting Superman punches, clotheslines and drive-bys. He even grabbed McMahon at ringside, only letting him go to dodge a flying McIntyre, who sailed across the announce table. Reigns then got into the ring, avoided a clothesline from Elias before hitting a spear on the smooth-voiced hipster. This was enough to pick up the win for the team.
Oh, and after the match, Roman landed another spear on Elias, allowing R-Truth to crawl into the cover and reclaim his 24/7 Championship. Nobody saw that coming!
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As an aside, the unending bickering between Byron Saxton and Corey Graves on commentary surrounding the methods and motivations of Shane McMahon was unbearable. They really need to put a cork in that before I lose my mind completely.
The Worst of SmackDown Live
The Muscle & Fitness Covergirl
Mandy Rose and Carmella had a feud centred primarily around which of them were in better shape. It’s almost as if they didn’t realise that they both look EXACTLY THE SAME.
Either way, this wasn’t so much a match as it was an aggressive reminder that Mandy Rose is gracing the cover of this month’s Muscle & Fitness Hers. The mercifully short marketing ploy was brought to an end after Carmella – much like every teenage boy with access to the internet – became distracted by a copy of said magazine (Sonya Deville had jumped onto the apron to wave it around). This momentary distraction allowed Mandy to secure the roll-up for the win.
That's what @CarmellaWWE thinks about @WWE_MandyRose and her magazine. #SDLive pic.twitter.com/gsS2ytdjSk
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 29, 2019
Aleister Black’s Room of Perpetual Solitude
The ‘Dutch Destroyer’ again sat in the room where all SmackDown stars go when creative “has nothing for them”. It’s a small, dark storage cabinet where Black gets to perform whatever the male version of The Vagina Monologues is.
He waffled about being a patient man, waiting for someone brave enough to pick a fight with him.
"I am sitting here patiently. Waiting for somebody. Anybody. To pick a fight with me." -@WWEAleister #SDLive pic.twitter.com/NMXQx1sVQN
— WWE (@WWE) May 29, 2019
It’s clear that the main roster has no idea what his character is, nor what to do with him. And so he sits. Each week edging ever closer to irrelevance.
Lacey Evans challenges Bayley
There was literally nothing working in favour of this match from the get-go. Almost as soon as the bell rang, the broadcast cut to commercial. Upon return, fans were treated to some plodding wrestling by Lacey and Bayley, who seemed to lack any real chemistry. At ringside, Charlotte provided some of the most lifeless, unengaging guest commentary I’ve ever heard.
Even the finish was uninspired. Bayley punched Charlotte at ringside, prompting ‘the Queen’ to attempt to get involved. The referee was preoccupied keeping Charlotte out of the ring, as Evans rolled up the SmackDown Women’s Champion. By the time the referee turned his attention back to the match at hand, Bayley had reversed the roll-up into a pin of her own and won. Then she escaped, leaving Evans and Charlotte in the ring, who inexplicably (and rather timidly) turned on one another. This was utterly pointless, and failed to build any compelling rivalries.
Well. So much for that friendship. #SDLive @LaceyEvansWWE @MsCharlotteWWE pic.twitter.com/veZCib1KQJ
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 29, 2019
Still No Buddy
Almost two months after the first phase of the Superstar Shakeup, we’re yet to see Buddy Murphy. Meanwhile Baron Corbin and Dolph Ziggler are in the main event. Need I say more?
Overall Rating for the Show (From best to worst: SmackDamn, SmackTastic, Smack Bang in the Middle, SmackDowner and A Smack in the Face)
This was a rather mixed bag of SmackDown Live, which nevertheless far outstripped Raw’s offering on Monday.
First of all, there was far more actual wrestling than the red brand offered, with Kofi vs Kevin Owens and the tag main event being particular standouts. Apart from that, there were some decidedly strong promo segments too. We were given a dream face-off between Daniel Bryan and Otis, a compelling mystery around the identity of Big E’s attacker, and another (this time fun) Shane McMahon Appreciation Ceremony.
But beyond that, SmackDown relied on some pretty awful segments to pad out its runtime. Aleister Black’s treatment is so abysmal that I’d honestly prefer if he were just left off TV entirely. Mandy Rose’s involvement was a blatant attempt to advertise her magazine shoot. And Lord only knows what kind of triple threat hell the women’s division is heading towards.
.@otiswwe is excited to be here tonight. #SDLive pic.twitter.com/sY3dtME52R
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 29, 2019
With all of that said though, the biggest talking point coming out of this show was probably KO’s insistence that he wasn’t the one who attacked Big E last week. There’s something fishy there. And it could develop into a really intriguing storyline… provided SmackDown doesn’t simply abandon it next week. But for now I’m prepared to give the show the benefit of the doubt.
All in all, I was left rather torn on this week’s show. With equal parts good and bad though, the choice became fairly self-evident. This week’s SmackDown Live is Smack Bang in the Middle.
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