Last week’s SmackDown Live served to rile me up a bit about the feuds that went on too long. The seemingly never-ending rivalries between the likes of Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler, Seth Rollins and Baron Corbin, and Becky Lynch and Lacey Evans. On that occasion, I drew a distinction between those types of unnecessarily long programs that should have ended far earlier and the inexplicably abandoned storylines, which were never given a chance to develop. That latter gripe would be addressed at another time.
This is that time.
The topic generally is too broad to discuss in a few introductory paragraphs to this week’s SmackDown review. Remember, for example, when Alexa Bliss was being groomed to become Raw GM? The fallout from the blue brand getting trounced at Survivor Series? Lucha House Rules?
While many of those suddenly abandoned storylines are remnants of a time before the “New Era”, it seems that WWE’s bad habits have found their way to 2019.
NEXT WEEK, The #KabukiWarriors @WWEAsuka & @KairiSaneWWE will face The #IIconics in Tokyo! If The #KabukiWarriors win, they get to challenge @PeytonRoyceWWE & @BillieKayWWE for the @WWE Women's #TagTeamTitles! #SDLive @RealPaigeWWE pic.twitter.com/tIt9ob98EO
— WWE (@WWE) June 19, 2019
One of the biggest talking points coming out of last week’s edition of SmackDown was the identity of the person at Aleister Black’s door. Who was brave enough to challenge the man brooding in the arena’s storage cupboard? Well, it turns out nobody. Now, you may argue that isn’t really an aborted plot line, as it’s almost certain to pay off at Extreme Rules. And there is some validity in that line of reasoning. But it’s another instance of a deferred payoff, when one had been promised for last night’s show. Much like Brock Lesnar’s promised cash-in, it was a moment designed to disappoint fans.
Along similar lines, just two weeks ago, WWE announced that the Kabuki Warriors would be facing the IIconics during the company’s tour of Japan. Should Asuka and Kairi Sane win that match, then the pair would get a shot at the Aussie duo’s tag team championships. Well, the Kabuki Warriors did win. But you wouldn’t know that because it wasn’t addressed at all last night. In fact, Asuka and Sane haven’t even featured on TV in weeks.
These sorts of unfulfilled promises really detract from the product as a whole. WWE is asking fans to invest into storylines, people and feuds that may never reach a natural conclusion. Eventually your audience will be burned so often that they’ll just become cauterised to the product entirely. And apathy is not conducive to a successful TV show.
Thankfully then, SmackDown this week offered plenty of other talking points. To deal with those (and any other lingering complaints), let’s get to the review.
The Best of SmackDown Live
Singles Path to Tag Team Gold
Big E and Daniel Bryan put on a decent match to start. Big E in particular could arguably be considered an underrated singles performer, and he once again showed his value in this match. The singles encounter was designed to build excitement ahead of the recently announced tag team title match at Extreme Rules, pitting Big E & Xavier Woods against Bryan & Rowan. And on that front it certainly succeeded, with Big E relying on his ungodly power and Bryan trying to counter with speed and guile.
Nope. #SDLive @WWEBigE @WWEDanielBryan pic.twitter.com/O3FbAxCXF1
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) July 3, 2019
Daniel Bryan ultimately emerged victorious curtesy of some interference from Rowan. All in all, an entertaining contest. And a promising harbinger of things to come at Extreme Rules.
A Rebranded Moment of Bliss
So it turns out that the worst component of the Moment of Bliss segments has been Alexa Bliss herself. With the exception of last week’s instalment, these talk shows have almost invariably been agonising to sit through. But with Alexa keen to “let her little bird fly”, she offered up hosting duties to her protégé, Nikki Cross. Like so many aspects of this Bliss / Cross affair, I have no idea why Alexa so eagerly offered up her talk show. But – you know – gift horse, mouth, all that.
Is Nikki ready for her close-up? She better be because she's hosting a #AMomentOfBliss with special guest #SDLive #WomensChampion @itsBayleyWWE… NEXT! @NikkiCrossWWE @AlexaBliss_WWE pic.twitter.com/BHkyCZAKvA
— WWE (@WWE) July 3, 2019
So, a genuinely likeable Cross, determined to make her best friend proud, carefully – and incredibly professionally – was left to introduce this week’s guest, Bayley. After a fiery conversation, in which Cross vowed to ask all the “tough questions” and Bayley tried to expose the true duplicitous nature of Bliss, an in-ring encounter was all but unavoidable.
A short match then ended with a straightforward win for the SmackDown Women’s Champion. Just 24 hours earlier, Cross had been teased as a potential challenger for Bayley come Extreme Rules. This result presumably puts that to bed. Then again, Carmella beat Alexa Bliss in four seconds on Monday night, so at the minute no one looks strong.
"You're doing great, Nikki!"
We agree. 😊 #SDLive #MomentOfBliss @NikkiCrossWWE pic.twitter.com/4CY5eezy9E
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) July 3, 2019
If I keep pulling on this logical thread, chances are that the entire tapestry will unravel, forcing me to turn this segment into a negative. So instead I’ll just leave it with an endorsement of Nikki Cross’ new chat show. The obvious name being, of course, “Playtime with Nikki“.
A Championship Confrontation
Kofi Kingston and Samoa Joe came face-to-face in the ring, for a confrontation that remained entertaining throughout yet lacked the kind of fire you’d expect of a WWE Championship feud.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzb4Ku5BPAS/
Samoa Joe charged that Kofi was no more than a short-lived comedy gimmick, who exists only to sell merchandise and is destined to return to his mid-card roots. Kofi responded by criticising Joe’s modus operandi of attacking The New Day from behind, suggesting that those were the actions of a coward rather than a terrifying bulldozer.
The challenger, understanding the insinuation, offered his hand to the champion. Joe promised that if Kofi looked him in the eye and shook his hand, in the process acknowledging the inevitability of Joe’s title victory, Joe would no longer attack Kofi’s friends or family. Instead though, Kofi gave Joe the finger and delivered the Trouble in Paradise. Or at least that’s what I think he did, because my feed cut out temporarily right as Kingston made the obscene gesture. He might have just given Joe a hearty thumbs up for all I know.
Shake @SamoaJoe's hand? @TrueKofi had another hand gesture in mind… #SDLive #ExtremeRules pic.twitter.com/squ52E9F41
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) July 3, 2019
A National Treasure Walks Among Us
Heavy Machinery were interviewed by Sarah Schreiber backstage ahead of their match against KO & Dolph Ziggler set for later in the night. I’m sure that Tucker had some very insightful things to say, but it was Otis who per usual stole the limelight.
The man who looks like several different-sized medicine balls glued together gyrated and pumped his fists throughout, before letting out a primal yell of “We’re Comin’ ah!” He’s too beautiful for this world.
The End of an Era of Tyranny
Just two weeks after it started, WWE’s obsession with two-out-of-three falls matches appears to be at an end. Mercifully, we got none on SmackDown last night, with matches instead allowed to run through commercial breaks. I never thought I’d be so relieved to not see parts of matches.
A Two-Way Becomes a Three-Way
The main event of SmackDown pitted KO & Ziggler against Heavy Machinery, with a place in the Extreme Rules tag team title match on the line.
The match started with all of Bryan & Rowan, Big E & Xavier Woods and several mountains of pancakes at ringside. Even by Vince’s standards, that was a lot of beef… and far too many carbs while we’re on the topic.
Chaos has BROKEN OUT at ringside! #SDLive @ERICKROWAN @WWEDanielBryan pic.twitter.com/Wfa9bPe7vh
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) July 3, 2019
It wasn’t long though before tensions between the two teams boiled over on the outside and a full-on brawl broke out, with Bryan delivering the running knee to Big E and Rowan slamming Woods through their custom-built commentary desk.
Once order was restored post-break, the main event resumed. And it was a fun match too, with noticeably few tags as all men just laid into one another. Eventually though, a miscommunication between the makeshift pairing led to Dolph delivering an inadvertent superkick to Owens, followed by a Compactor from Heavy Machinery for the win.
"This is MY SHOW!" @FightOwensFight sends a message to @HEELZiggler in STUNNING fashion! #SDLive pic.twitter.com/dCCE2iOu3o
— WWE (@WWE) July 3, 2019
After the match, a furious Owens delivered a Stunner to Dolph, possibly setting up an encounter between the two at Extreme Rules. Which Ziggler will probably win, because that’s just how the world works.
The Worst of SmackDown Live
Shane McMahon
Before delving into the creamy centre of this week’s SmackDown Live, I’d like to take a second to deal with a Shane McMahon-shaped migraine I’ve been suffering. Because – and admittedly I’m perhaps a little late to the party here – it just occurred to me that McMahon’s assumed title of “best in the world” has become utterly meaningless. It no longer factors into any of his feuds. The Miz hates him because he struck his dad. He’s feuding with Roman because the ‘Big Dog’ punched his father. And The Undertaker is looking to take him out because… I’m still not entirely sure on that one actually. I think it has to do with falling ratings and ‘The Deadman’s worrying addiction to souls.
.@FightOwensFight's introduction didn't do it for @shanemcmahon. Take it away, @GregHamiltonWWE! #SDLive pic.twitter.com/CPooI2wk8V
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) July 3, 2019
So why is the moniker still loudly recited by Greg Hamilton every time Shane steps into the ring? Sure, it draws some heat from the crowd, but it’s clear that the roster doesn’t much care. In fact, it’s just widely become accepted that Shane is indeed the best in the world. Drew McIntyre, The Miz and The Undertaker have each openly acknowledged the title in recent weeks. So why then is it still employed as a mark of vanity by the Chairman’s son? It’s just who he is now.
Anyway, he announced that the match against Roman Reigns and Undertaker at Extreme Rules would now be contested under a No Holds Barred stipulation.
Face / Heel Flip Flops
Speaking of Shane McMahon, Kevin Owens invited him and Drew McIntyre onto The KO Show, and then proceeded to openly antagonise them. Owens insisted that Shane was scared of ‘The Deadman’ (using clips of last night’s Raw as evidence) and harkened back to McMahon’s loss to ‘Taker at WrestleMania 32.
He then outright dismissed Dolph Ziggler when the bleach blonde Beavis once again crashed a segment he had no reason to be involved in. Both men demanded a shot at Kofi Kingston’s WWE Championship, but Shane instead announced that KO and Ziggler would be pairing later in the evening to take on Heavy Machinery, with the winner earning a spot in the tag team title match at Extreme Rules. So both men get to partner with someone they despise, to be in a match they don’t care about, for an opportunity at a championship they’re not interested in. That sounds fun.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzby-ebBicF/
All of this is to say that presumably Owens is just a face again now. For absolutely no rhyme or reason, the reset button has once more been pushed on his character, as the former WWE Champion has gone from cheerful pizza eater to cowardly villain to righteous crowd favourite in less than six months.
The collateral damage here is perhaps Sami Zayn, who’s best moments have come as one half of the comedy heel act alongside Kevin Owens. What happens to him? But then KO was back to being distinctly heelish during the night’s main event, before again reverting to babyface status by show’s end. So what do I know?
Let Ali In
Unless you happen to be Bray Wyatt, it’s likely not a good sign if you’re shooting more vignettes than you are competing in matches. But that’s precisely where Ali finds himself, wandering around the inexplicably empty streets of Chicago rambling about heart, perseverance and hope. I don’t mean to devalue the merits of Ali’s self-belief, but it all just sounded like a bootleg Tony Robbins DVD to me unfortunately.
Regardless, these short self-made video packages are just one short jump away from complete obscurity. And Ali is far too talented for that to happen.
How The Mighty Have Fallen
If you conducted a poll to determine the most underused talent on SmackDown, I’d wager that Andrade would finish pretty high up the list. The extraordinary former NXT Champion, with a history of five-star matches in his resumé, has every right to feel shortchanged in his current role. On ability alone, he should be in the upper mid-card or main event scene – not toiling away in meaningless filler matches.
Look at @Zelina_VegaWWE go! 😱 #SDLive @WWEApollo https://t.co/lpeZ8nHwWH pic.twitter.com/z8ZrkHXu4U
— WWE (@WWE) July 3, 2019
As if to underscore his current futility, this week saw Andrade being comprehensively beaten by Apollo Crews until Zelina Vega ran some timely interference. He’s so much better than this.
There’s No-one at the Goddamn Door!
Because of course there bloody isn’t! I can only assume that those in charge figured that Aleister Black’s dark room promos were too dynamite to abandon after only three months (or however long it’s been).
After finally receiving the long-awaited knock on his door last week, the ‘Dutch Destroyer’ yesterday revealed that when he went to open it, he discovered no-one there. This never-ending angle has gone from strange to frustrating to farcical. I just want it to end.
Whoever dares pick a fight with @WWEAleister can reveal themselves at #ExtremeRules. #SDLive pic.twitter.com/eVCkH9KaSa
— WWE (@WWE) July 3, 2019
Thankfully, Black challenged his mystery guest to a match at Extreme Rules. So, barring any further curveballs, we should be seeing him in the ring soon.
Returning the Favour
A week ago, Sonya Deville defeated Ember Moon in convincing fashion. Last night, Ember did the same to Mandy Rose. Once again, nobody gets over. The status quo is invincible!
Shelton Benjamin Needs a Doctor
Sarah Schreiber asked Shelton Benjamin who he thought would win the WWE Title at Extreme Rules and he looked like he had a mild stroke.
Interviewer: Shelton Benjamin, who do you think will win the #WWEChampionship at #ExtremeRules? #SDLive @Sheltyb803: pic.twitter.com/u0FIHtIKAS
— WWE (@WWE) July 3, 2019
What in the name of Terry Funk was that?
No Mention of the Kabuki Warriors
I dealt with this in the introduction, but it deserves to be pointed out again. The Japanese pairing seemingly earned a Tag Team title shot against the IIconics this past weekend… it was never addressed on last night’s show.
Overall Rating for the Show (From best to worst: SmackDamn, SmackTastic, Smack Bang in the Middle, SmackDowner and A Smack in the Face)
This was a welcome return to form for SmackDown Live, which seems – at least momentarily – to have shed what plagued it since the introduction of the Wild Card Rule.
For once, the blue brand didn’t feel “under siege” from its red counterpart, contaminated by the usual barrage of Raw nonsense. Moreover, it didn’t fall victim to the agonising effects of a series of 2-out-of-3 fall commercial break workarounds. Instead, this felt very much like an episode of SmackDown from late 2018. Which is a good thing!
While I still have some frustrations with the direction of Ember Moon, Andrade and Ali – and God only knows what they’re doing with Kevin Owens – those moments were decidedly outweighed by the positive.
"YOU'RE NOT GONNA COME OUT HERE AND TALK ABOUT HOW IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU… IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU 8 YEARS AGO AND IT WAS, KINDA, THEN IT WASN'T, AND IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN, JUST GET OVER IT! – @FightOwensFight to @HEELZiggler on #SDLive pic.twitter.com/h8e7J0zJxv
— WWE (@WWE) July 3, 2019
KO and Ziggler have developed a somewhat interesting dynamic that was used to set up a fun match with the ascending Heavy Machinery. Kingston and Samoa Joe were given some decent material with which to shape their WWE Championship rivalry. And Nikki Cross suddenly feels like a major babyface!
This was a show built on shorter, snappier promos, which were parlayed into some good wrestling. Particularly in the show’s second hour, which featured more sports entertainment and decidedly less Shane McMahon.
So, with all of that considered, SmackDown this week was SmackTastic.
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