After the figurative train wreck that was Raw on Monday, the prevailing hope was that SmackDown Live would do a better job of deciding its contributions to the Money in the Bank ladder match scheduled for the pay-per-view in three weeks. Certainly, at a bare minimum, we knew that we wouldn’t have to put up with countless Alexa Bliss segments.
And then SmackDown opened with Michael Cole.
Dammit WWE, why do you behave this way! This has to be the worst Superstar Shakeup in history.
It turns out though that Cole was only there to conduct an in-ring interview with WWE Champion, Kofi Kingston. Because apparently none of the other three automatons scurrying around backstage were qualified to do this job. It had to be the big guns.
👋, @MichaelCole!
"The most important thing is to fight through those lows…you gotta keep on pushing!" – @TrueKofi #SDLive pic.twitter.com/W3TAqntGiI
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 1, 2019
So Cole expertly cued up replays first of Kofi winning the title at WrestleMania and then of last week’s dastardly events, with Kevin Owens blindsiding Kingston. Reliving these moments caused Kofi to passionately speak about what it means to be WWE Champion, of the pride he felt to carry the WWE Championship over his shoulder. The Champ then turned to Owens’ deception, him worming his way into New Day as a ruse to launch an attack. Kofi said that if KO wanted a shot at his title, all he had to do was ask.
This brought Owens out to the ramp to accept Kofi’s challenge, which sent Michael Cole scurrying for safety. No one scurries like Michael Cole. It’s clear that literally no one else could have done this job.
Xavier Woods then emerged to exact revenge on Kevin Owens for last week. KO however quickly turned the tables on the New Day member, before Kofi ran up the ramp to help his friend, as Owens legged it.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw5kfIuhcdV/
This was a fairly inauspicious start to Tuesday night, with lengthy interviews, tame attacks and little story development. But if any of WWE’s offerings could redeem itself, it’s SmackDown Live. So how did the blue brand get on? Let’s turn to the review.
Best of SmackDown Live
Kofi Stands Alone
Immediately after their run-in with Kevin Owens, Kofi and Xavier were shown in the trainer’s room backstage. Xavier was worse for the wear after being laid out by Owens, and Kofi implored his friend to stay out of harm’s way as he took on his title challenger later in the evening.
Woods briefly protested – he wanted to help his pal, naturally – but Kingston remained firm. Woods’ health was too important. And Kofi was going to do this alone.
.@XavierWoodsPhD just couldn't help but come to the aid of his friend.#SDLive @TrueKofi pic.twitter.com/wjWKglR9Sj
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 1, 2019
It was a touching moment between two friends who have demonstrated their loyalty to one another time and again. But even more so, it was nice to see Kofi standing alone and not have to rely on the rest of the New Day.
Lars Sullivan’s Path of Destruction
A couple of weeks ago, ‘The Freak’ decimated the Hardy Boys in an unprovoked attack. We learnt this week that brutal episode had resulted in an injury to Jeff Hardy and that the brothers would have to relinquish the tag team belts as a result.
Before they could say any more though, the giant Sullivan marched to the ring and, despite Matt’s brave resolve, Lars tossed him around like a gym towel. This again prompted R-Truth to attempt to make the save, even bringing a steel chair with him this time. But Sullivan simply (and impressively) punched the chair from Truth’s hands before laying the former US Champion out for the third week in a row.
Eventually, I’m hoping to see Lars move on to more serious competition. But for now, I’m quite happy watching him indiscriminately brutalise members of SmackDown’s mid-card. The fact that he can strike anyone at any time makes him feel like a unique threat.
Commentary was… iconic!
The bizarre team of Asuka and Kairi Sane (even more bizarrely put together by Paige) took on a team of jobbers next. This would’ve been an unremarkable squash match if not for the special guest commentary provided by The IIconics.
I completely understand why some people find the Aussie pair unbearable. They’re loud, obnoxious, screechy and incessant. But I can’t help but enjoy their particular brand of grating narcissism. Billie Kay’s tendency to call people “toots” and randomly exclaim “you must be joking me” in particular amuses me. They’re just funny. And on a roster distinctly lacking in personality, they’re a welcome change of pace.
Then again, maybe it’s just because I’m over an hour into a bad episode of SmackDown and starting to become a bit delirious.
#TheIIconics may not like it, but @WWEAsuka and @KairiSaneWWE are VICTORIOUS on #SDLive! pic.twitter.com/vsxGoPqeGa
— WWE (@WWE) May 1, 2019
Firefly Fun House
Naturally, this was the same package we saw on Monday’s Raw. That’s not a knock though, it’s a terrific insert. Everything I said about it for the red brand’s review holds true here.
A MITB tag match
Stop me when you’ve heard this before. The four SmackDown entrants into the MITB ladder match were paired off to face one another in a tag match.
Despite the unoriginal premise though, this match was fairly decent. Bálor and Ali teamed up to take on Andrade and Orton in a short, fast-paced encounter. Ultimately Finn and Ali were able to best Andrade for the pinfall, before Orton snuck up behind the Irishman to deliver an RKO. He tried to do the same to Ali, however the former cruiserweight was alert to the danger and tossed the ‘Viper’ out of the ring. This meant Ali stood tall and performed the customary point toward the Money in the Bank briefcase. This was fun, if somewhat meaningless in the larger scheme.
The Final Showdown
Kevin Owens ended the night by attempting to goad Xavier Woods into coming out to face him. We had learnt earlier in the night that Woods was still hurt from his encounter with Owens at the top of the show, and in all events he had promised Kofi that he wouldn’t put himself in any further danger.
So the real guest on #TheKOShow…is @XavierWoodsPhD's action figure? #SDLive pic.twitter.com/tzqqBTVXkd
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 1, 2019
So despite Owens’ best efforts, which included mocking an Xavier Woods action figure, the New Day member did not let himself fall for the obvious trap. Instead, Kofi Kingston came out to meet Owens. This predictably led to a brawl, which ended with Owens making for the hills while Kingston yelled at him from the turnbuckle.
This wasn’t an overwhelmingly great segment to build to their title match at Money in the Bank, but it was a coherent story played out throughout the show. And on an off night for SmackDown Live, you take what you can get.
Worst of SmackDown Live
Bizarre Formatting
Both WWE shows have been experimenting with their layouts in recent weeks. Sometimes it works – like when one wrestler’s exit is interrupted by another’s entrance. In these moments we get to see two ships passing in the night, perhaps alluding to future conflicts but also building a robust, living world.
On other occasions, this merging of two themes can have a jarring effect. Like when an advert for Snickers featuring Bobby Roode and Chad Gable gets interjected between two entrances and I can’t tell what’s reality and what isn’t.
#TheMan is ready to take care of some business.#SDLive #Becky2Belts @BeckyLynchWWE pic.twitter.com/pr0ST6OYga
— WWE (@WWE) May 1, 2019
Last night, Bayley made her way down to the ring. Then Becky made her entrance. What followed thereafter was a replay of Becky’s brawl with Lacey Evans on Raw. Before we returned to see the rest of Becky’s entrance. It was all out of place, unnecessary and an incredibly ham-fisted way of catching the at-home audience up with events.
The Promised Match
I was rather upset last week that Charlotte defeated Bayley to set the wheels in motion for another showdown with ‘The Man’. This was partly because of how worn out I am by the Charlotte / Becky feud, but also because a contest with Bayley just seemed so much more appealing.
‘The Hugger’ appeared to have developed a tougher, darker side to her character and, as she pointed out, Becky had never beaten her. This could have been an interesting encounter between the current SmackDown Women’s champion and a former Raw Women’s title holder. Alas, it wasn’t to be and Charlotte was given that shot instead.
But at least I was able to console myself with the thought that Bayley vs Lynch was still on the cards and offered something intriguing to be built down the line.
Instead we just got that match last night, with Becky securing the submission win within a few minutes. This could’ve been something, but instead it was just thrown away on a meaningless episode of SmackDown in April.
Oh, and then Charlotte came down to wipe everyone out after the match. This wasn’t bad – it was just disappointing. But also quite bad actually.
What Are The Rules?
I was hoping that SmackDown would have a better system for deciding their entrants into the Money in the Bank ladder matches than Raw’s idea of just having Alexa Bliss arbitrarily read a bunch of names off a list.
Well, it turns out that SmackDown’s idea was just to have the commentary team arbitrarily announce a bunch of names off a list. Totally different systems.
I have no idea what the criteria is to get into the match, nor what anyone did to secure their place. But it renders the entire process pretty arbitrary and uninteresting. It’s the kind of thing that could just as easily have been announced on WWE’s website. And that doesn’t make for good TV.
For those interested, SmackDown’s contingent consists of Ali, Finn Bálor, Andrade and Randy Orton on the men’s side. And, at first, only Bayley on the women’s.
For some reason, it was then revealed there was only room in the match for one of either Mandy Rose or Sonya Deville, with the choice being left up to them. “Oh good, some competitive tension“, I thought. Five seconds later they had both agreed that Mandy should take the spot.
Great job, SmackDown.
#friendshipgoals.@SonyaDevilleWWE just decided to let @WWE_MandyRose be the one to enter the Women's #MITB #LadderMatch! #SDLive pic.twitter.com/AkCpMQLocL
— WWE (@WWE) May 1, 2019
The final two entrants would be confirmed later in the night. Whatever.
Shane McMahon’s Axis of Nobodies
Roman Reigns came out, presumably just to remind us all that he’s the ‘Big Dog’. Because there was no match lined up for him and he didn’t seem to have any message beyond that. Also, Tom Phillips very enthusiastically yelled that Roman was “the greatest acquisition in the history of the Superstar Shakeup!” Oh WWE, when will you learn?
Thankfully Shane McMahon intervened to save what would undoubtedly have been a fairly awkward moment when Reigns ran out of things to say. Shane was there to exact further punishment on the ‘Big Dog’ for punching his father two weeks ago. So apparently this story is still a thing.
Last week saw Elias lend a hand to the boss’ son in beating up Reigns. Before that SAnitY were enlisted to aid him in the fight against The Miz. This week, Shane somehow managed to find two goons even less relevant to help him out, in the B-Team. Oh, and the B-Team are heels on SmackDown now I guess. Remember the one night a year when wrestlers were free to move between brands?
Has @shanemcmahon brought former #RAW #TagTeamChampions @TheBoDallas & @RealCurtisAxel to #SDLive?! #TheBTeam pic.twitter.com/wwqySJhWts
— WWE (@WWE) May 1, 2019
Anyway, the B-Team throttled Roman for a bit in a two-on-one handicap match, with Elias the designated special guest enforcer. After what felt like an eternity of shenanigans and tomfoolery, Reigns eventually gained the upper hand. One superman punch, an “ooh-ahh” and a spear later, and Reigns picked up the win.
Lord almighty. This was a nothing angle made worse by a nothing match. I’m concerned about Roman’s future.
Buddy Murphy is Coming?
When it was announced two weeks ago that Buddy Murphy would be joining the blue brand as part of the Superstar Shakeup, I was worried. Not because of his talent – most agreed that he was in fact the most exciting pickup either brand could claim as part of the annual shuffle. The concern I had was that his pending move from 205 Live was advertised not by an appearance or match, but rather by a promo.
The Secret is coming…. #SDLive pic.twitter.com/ZDOrsms3Oq
— Buddy Matthews (@SNM_Buddy) April 24, 2019
We’ve previously seen WWE play promos announcing new talent for months before they actually appear in person, only for whatever interest that existed around that wrestler to have long since dissipated. This was my worry about Buddy Murphy. The longer they delay his debut, the less impactful it will be. Just get him up already.
The Final Two Women Are Announced
In typical fashion, the final two women to form the SmackDown contingent for the Money in the Bank match were revealed by Sarah Schreiber. Because apparently everyone with a backstage role in WWE now has the authority to formally announce MITB competitors. We’re about two weeks away from having the guy who brought Alexa Bliss her coffee enter himself into the match.
You're looking at the final TWO entrants in this year's Women's #MITB #LadderMatch: @CarmellaWWE and @WWEEmberMoon! #SDLive pic.twitter.com/her4WSmsCE
— WWE (@WWE) May 1, 2019
The two women in question here were Ember Moon and Carmella, who proceeded to deliver some of the worst, most awkwardly scripted promos of the year so far. At one stage early on, Ember Moon actually said:
“I have many names, but I’m yet to make a name for myself on SmackDown.“
It’s as if they’ve attended the Natalya and Dana Brooke School of Terrible Acting. Both of these women deserve better. And so do we.
Overall Rating for the Show (From best to worst: SmackDamn, SmackTastic, Smack Bang in the Middle, SmackDowner and A Smack in the Face)
I honestly have nothing to say about this week’s SmackDown Live. It was just a load of empty segments, wrapped in bad promos and short, meaningless matches.
Lars Sullivan continued along his path of destruction. And Kofi underwent some welcome character evolution. But those were just fleeting bright spots in a sea of awfulness. Shane McMahon has seemingly developed the power to summon the forces of the lower-card, only to see them be vanquished by a troublingly superhuman Roman Reigns. Becky beat Bayley in a short match that really should have been reserved for a pay-per-view program. And more MITB entrants were arbitrarily added to the ladder match.
Raw and SmackDown this week were both built around deciding who would be representing each brand at Money in the Bank. It’s an exciting premise that should provide the basis for plenty of intrigue. But, ironically, that was the worst part of both shows. I’ll still be excited for the matches when they roll around in three weeks, but it will be in spite – and not because – of this build.
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It’s perhaps most telling that The IIconics on commentary were one of the few highlights of the show last night. Because as much as I enjoy those two, their presence should never be the high watermark of an episode of SmackDown Live.
This was without doubt the worst the blue brand has been in a long, long time. So with little to write home about, and no worthwhile events to speak of, this week’s SmackDown was A Smack in the Face.
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