Raw was noticeably safer this week. Which coincidentally placed it in stark contrast to the AEW Double or Nothing pay-per-view of Saturday. (Speaking of, Sammy Guevara you beautiful, crazy man!)
But the re-skinned Raw wasn’t about eliminating big bumps or chasing people around an empty arena on a horse – no, this was safer in a medical sense.
The red brand placed NXT stars around ringside (all supposedly tested beforehand and standing six feet apart), separated from the wrestlers in the ring by plexiglass. It was indeed an uncommon setup, but one that was unquestionably appropriate given the current climate.
Many of us have wondered how long it would take WWE to start using some of its wrestlers as substitutes for the absentee audience. Especially considering how sorely the lack of atmosphere has been missed. It’s tough to make any match seem important when it’s playing out to complete silence.
Well, last night we got our answer as dozens of developmental talent filled the ringside area, with clear instructions to holler as loudly as possible. But all of this would only matter if Raw managed to match the makeshift crowd’s enthusiasm with a solid product. So, to that end, the agenda promised a United States Championship match, a rare appearance from Ric Flair and a triple threat to decide the number one contender to Asuka’s Title.
Sounds good on paper. Let’s get to the Review!
The Best of Raw
Apollo Takes Off
Apollo Crews got his shot at Andrade’s United States Title this week. Regular watchers will recall that Crews challenged for the belt several weeks ago, only to suffer a storyline injury which kept him out of Money in the Bank.
But Apollo is healthy once more and immediately slipped back into his feud with Andrade. Crews truly is a spectacular athlete, merging freakish strength with ungodly athleticism. All that’s ever been lacking from his act is a connection with the audience. But on this show, with the NXT stars at ringside providing the enthusiasm, it suddenly became easier to get behind the challenger.
Are we looking at the next #USChampion?#WWERaw @WWEApollo pic.twitter.com/1SQX1mm1Co
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 26, 2020
That said, there were some… weird… distractions. Zelina Vega got knocked off the apron early on, which went nowhere, and Angel Garza delivered a promo backstage about the similarities between wrestling and “making love to a beautiful woman”. Okay…?
It was all rather strange, but after a cracking contest, APOLLO WON with a standing moonsault / shooting star press combination. And the crowd went wild in support of the new United States Champion. Then Apollo gave a post-match promo about how great it felt winning his first WWE gold.
What’s a Slap between Friends?
The IIconics took to the ring to address the ‘Slap Heard Around the World’. They apologised to one another, particularly Billie who was the slapper – I mean, the person who did the slapping – last week.
They then transitioned to the issue of the Tag Team Titles, claiming that the belts should still be around their waists instead of those of ‘management’s favourite blonde’ and her little sidekick. The fighting words brought out said champions, Bliss and Cross, who disagreed. Cross delivered an impassioned promo about how she felt like an outcast until forming her partnership with Alexa.
Message sent.#TheIIconics want their championship gold back!#WWERaw @BillieKayWWE @PeytonRoyceWWE pic.twitter.com/uPoHg5qjz3
— WWE (@WWE) May 26, 2020
Then the IIconics just beat them up. It was okay, but falters slightly when considered in the larger context. The Aussie duo were, as usual, incredibly compelling. They have charisma oozing from their butts, as the expression goes. And Nikki Cross’s speech felt genuine and heartfelt. It’s just that this feud already feels played out. The IIconics got their shot last week and lost (stupidly) by disqualification. So why exactly are we getting this again?
The ‘Lothario’ Impresses
While Kevin Owens was making his way to the ring for their match, Angel Garza jumped him. The ‘Lothario’ relentlessly targeted the knee, severely weakening the former Universal Champion.
This made the ensuing match a relatively easy affair for the young star. Owens valiantly attempted to hang in the fight, but his knee was just too badly compromised. Eventually Garza hit the Wing Clipper for a huge victory on Raw.
Consider @FightOwensFight's wings CLIPPED as @AngelGarzaWwe picks up a HUGE victory on #WWERaw!
Are you happy, @Zelina_VegaWWE? pic.twitter.com/hN46XFzW6q
— WWE (@WWE) May 26, 2020
It’s been a while since a member of Zelina Vega’s group has looked like a winner and this was a major step in that direction. Hopefully we continue to see Garza establish himself as a real threat on the red brand.
Seth Threatens to Take Another Eye
This was a stellar tag encounter between four guys that I could watch wrestle every week. Aleister Black teamed with Humberto Carrillo to take on Murphy and Austin Theory.
From the beginning, it marked a noticeable departure from Raw’s usual fare, as the four lads flew all over the place with nary a rest hold in sight. It was fast-paced and electric… and then Carrillo took the pin after Theory hit an ATL. Because of course he did. Carrillo loses every week.
Capable of just about anything.#WWERaw @WWERollins @WWE_Murphy @austintheory1 pic.twitter.com/07Z51tmLPm
— WWE (@WWE) May 26, 2020
After the match, Rollins and his crew looked to attack Carrillo further because he “had to learn”. Black came to his partner’s aid, but Seth ordered his goons to take out Carrillo’s eye if Black didn’t relent.
So Aleister backed off, and Seth led Theory and Murphy up the ramp. This was a fun match followed by more of the sadistic Rollins. Also, I’m starting to get behind Seth’s new entrance theme.
Asuka Gets Her Wish
Charlotte, Nia Jax and Natalya competed for a shot at Asuka at Backlash.
The early stages saw Charlotte and Nattie band together to take on the ‘Immovable Object’, culminating in them powerbombing Jax through the announce table. It was a genuinely impressive sight watching them carry Nia from the apron and slam her downwards.
😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱#WWERaw #TripleThreat @NatbyNature @MsCharlotteWWE pic.twitter.com/EGKAboPb3b
— WWE (@WWE) May 26, 2020
With Jax temporarily dealt with, Charlotte and Natalya turned their attentions to each other. Asuka, who was on commentary, resuscitated Jax and rolled her back into the ring – presumably because that’s who Asuka would like to face, given Jax’s assault on Kairi Sane last week.
Jax escaped an armbar from Nattie and kicked out of Charlotte’s moonsault. Charlotte locked the Figure-8 on Jax, but Natalya broke it up. Jax returned the favour when Natalya had Charlotte in the Sharpshooter.
A Tower of Doom spot left all three women down. Nattie was the first to recover, but couldn’t capitalise. Some further exchanges ensued, and Nia Jax hit Natalya with the Samoan Drop to win. So the logical thing happened and we get Jax vs. Asuka at the pay-per-view, after a really good bout.
Gronk is Ready
This may come as a surprise to some but Rob Gronkowski delivered an excellent pre-recorded promo in response to R-Truth’s declaration that he was coming for his 24/7 Title.
A #WrestleMania main event in the making.#WWERaw @RonKillings @RobGronkowski pic.twitter.com/B71fF5eZuG
— WWE (@WWE) May 26, 2020
Gronk said that growing up with four brothers had granted him the ability to always know when an attack was coming and he was prepared for Truth. The 24/7, 7/11, I-95 South, European… I forget the rest… Championship would not leave his shoulder. I enjoyed this.
The Worst of Raw
Standing on the Shoulders of Small Timers
In what was clearly an idea ripped straight from its competition, Raw made the fundamental change of introducing NXT stars to stand around ringside in order to create some atmosphere. Don’t get me wrong, I have no issue with WWE replicating AEW. In fact the product could likely benefit from uplifting a few more of that promotion’s ideas.
This properly socially-distanced audience of @WWEPC athletes is PUMPED for #WWERaw! pic.twitter.com/vJ90iSp6yQ
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 26, 2020
What made this such a pale imitation though was that Raw misunderstood what made the wrestlers’ presence at ringside work. The battle between babyface and heel is meant to spill over into the stands, amplifying not only the in-ring action but also the characters of those NXT stars.
Instead, the developmental wrestlers just cheered all the babyfaces and booed all the heels, regardless of their affiliation in NXT. It was such a generic reaction and only served to cheapen the entire spectacle, morphing it into an unidentifiable throng of noise. There was no tension, no humour, no character. They were just there. Another missed opportunity.
The Women Can’t Get Along
Much like Raw’s writers, I too can’t be bothered with the show’s opening segment.
Kevin Owens introduced his guest for this week’s edition of the KO Show, Asuka. She was still upset that Nia jumped Kairi Sane last week. This brought out Charlotte, to fulfil her mission of getting her WWE Loyalty Card stamped each week. One more visit and she gets a free video package!
Queen gonna queen.#WWERaw @MsCharlotteWWE pic.twitter.com/0Q4VyBhleU
— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) May 26, 2020
Charlotte prattled on about being the best, which triggered Natalya’s music. In case you hadn’t noticed, none of this tied together in any way. Natalya apologised for vandalising KO’s set last week. The crowd cheered. Nia Jax came out. They booed.
The ‘Immovable Object’ said some heelish things, Asuka struck her in the face and a triple threat match was set up later in the night – Natalya vs. Charlotte vs. Jax – with a shot at Asuka’s Raw Women’s Title on the line. What an absolute, irredeemable waste of time.
More Chit-Chat
I’m so freaking sick of talk shows on my wrestling programming. None of them are good, they all follow precisely the same formula and no-one ever looks good during them.
So, much like when your friend suggests you travel across town at 2am to visit the hottest new club, we were forced to enter the MVP Lounge. And much like that experience, this club was full of annoying characters, awful decor and the faint smell of desperation.
MVP started by informing all the NXT stars in attendance that their tabs were on him. They cheered, apparently forgetting that there wasn’t a bar.
Drew McIntyre made his way to the ring, where MVP started making the case for his newest recruit, Bobby Lashley, to get a shot at his title. McIntyre said that as long as Lashley has been waiting for a title shot, he had been waiting even longer. And if Lashley wanted to take his Title, he was welcome to pry it from his cold, dead hands.
A ringside view at the CLAYMORE for @fightbobby…#WWERaw @DMcIntyreWWE pic.twitter.com/fFoprsf97E
— WWE (@WWE) May 26, 2020
This brought out Lashley. But instead of a real confrontation, Drew simply cracked MVP in the jaw with a Claymore and then tossed Lashley from the ring. There’s no question that Raw continues to make its Champion look incredibly strong, but at some point it’s going to have to establish a legitimate challenger.
Backstage, MVP antagonised Lana, further driving a wedge between her and Lashley, and sending Lana into another tantrum. This was all rather boring.
Bad Nattie
Natalya was due to be interviewed backstage, when she got a phone call. It was her husband, who apparently was still upset that Natalya had destroyed the KO Show set last week during a temper tantrum. Why is he randomly phoning her a week after the fact to discuss this?
When she finally got off the call and returned to the interview, Charly Caruso informed them that they were “out of time”. But apparently not so out of time that the camera couldn’t linger on Natalya’s face for several seconds, while the Canadian went through every conceivable human emotion. It was like a Dulux colour sheet of expressions.
You couldn't wait 2️⃣ more minutes to take that call, @NatbyNature? #WWERaw pic.twitter.com/Xzs8UTLcGF
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 26, 2020
I assume we’re meant to be witnessing Natalya’s gradual descent into villainy, but it’s all just so silly. Honestly, all she did was throw a couple of cheap props around the ring. Literally the only person upset about it seems to be Tyson Kidd.
The Challenge of Golf
We actually got a professionally produced video package recapping the recent exploits between the Viking Raiders and the Street Profits. I’m sure it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, but the voiceover actually referred to their basketball game and axe throwing competition as the “toughest of competitions”. I almost threw up.
This week the two teams played golf. The Viking Raiders threw their clubs at the flag and ate turkey legs, because they’re savages. While the Street Profits partied and laughed, because they’re jokers.
Next up … 🎳🎳🎳🎳🎳🎳🎳🎳🎳🎳?!#WWERaw @Erik_WWE @Ivar_WWE @AngeloDawkins @MontezFordWWE pic.twitter.com/IzgiyNdZZs
— WWE (@WWE) May 26, 2020
We’re three weeks into this utter nonsense and I’m not sure how much more of it I can take. If the intention is to work towards a match for the Raw Tag Team Championships, then can we please get to the wrestling already? Because none of the basketball, axes or golf is going to make that match any better. This is all just killing time. Apparently they’re bowling next week.
MVP overheard this last challenge and referred to it as another example of talent being squandered on meaningless games. He’s so right. After some angry words, he challenged the Street Profits to face him and Lashley in the night’s main event.
An Old Man with Old Words
Edge gave ANOTHER promo about how retirement had left him with doubts. He had been out of the game for 9 years, while Orton spent that time honing his craft. This theory kind of falls apart as soon as you remember that Edge beat Orton at WrestleMania 36. Just because it was a forgettable match doesn’t mean that we’ve forgotten about it.
"I was retired for 3,212 days. In that time, you competed in 1,126 matches … I realize I have to prove myself to myself."@EdgeRatedR is crunching the numbers on the road to #WWEBacklash. #WWERaw pic.twitter.com/DbYY0L24DO
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 26, 2020
He ended by saying that he’ll dig deep and bring everything he has at Orton. We’ve heard this countless times by this point and its value is diminishing.
Later in the night, Ric Flair sent in an exceedingly short video to share his prediction for “The Greatest Wrestling Match Ever”. He wooed and picked Randy Orton to win.
Liv is Trying to Find Herself
Similar to last week, Liv Morgan delivered another baffling straight-to-camera promo about life’s biggest stumbling blocks. She said that she had always battled with her self-worth until she found WWE.
LIVing her best life.#WWERaw @YaOnlyLivvOnce pic.twitter.com/g3MWe1IOcn
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 26, 2020
It felt like the kind of thing you might see during a filler episode of Dr Phil or an after-school special. As talented as Liv Morgan is, it’s difficult to see how any of these insincere, sugary, 20-second segments are meant to get her over or inform her character.
Lashley Lays Down the Challenge
When asked what gave him confidence of beating the current Raw Tag Team Champions, MVP simply patted Lashley on the chest and said the ‘Destroyer’ did. I appreciate how Lashley’s being built up as a titan, at least by MVP.
😬😬😬@fightbobby is DARING @MontezFordWWE to try and make a tag… #WWERaw pic.twitter.com/L2YH7Hi0cI
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) May 26, 2020
The match proceeded along familiar lines. The heels wore down Montez Ford for a little while, before a hot tag brought in Angelo Dawkins. A refreshed Ford hit MVP with a spectacular Frog Splash. But Lashley drove Dawkins into the ring post, broke up the pin and locked in the Full Nelson.
As Lashley was not the legal man, however, the referee called for the disqualification. It seems a bit regrettable that the Tag Team Champions would beat a first-time team in such unconvincing fashion. Surely there was a way to keep Lashley strong while also allowing the Street Profits to secure a pinfall over MVP.
After the bell, Drew McIntyre came out to face his presumptive challenger. A brawl ensued and some NXT lads broke it up. Not the most satisfying ending to an average Raw.
Overall Rating for the Show (From best to worst: RAWsome, Cor, AvRAWge, Poor and RAWful)
For better or worse, Raw seems to have found its groove over recent weeks. The Street Profits and Viking Raiders engage in silly games, Seth Rollins tries to permanently blind people and Drew McIntyre finds someone to flatten.
Accordingly, some of this formula works and some doesn’t. And so, the red brand’s weekly fate generally comes down to the quality of its in-ring product. This week, spurred on by an excellent tag bout, a promising showing from Angel Garza and a solid triple threat, that in-ring product was commendable.
But all of the pointless promos and agonising character work (with few exceptions) keeps Raw from ever rising above mediocre. This week’s show was a high AvRAWge.
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