“Rematches are dead, long live the rematches!”
I could virtually hear those words echo through WWE passages as the card for Stomping Grounds was being finalised. For, but six months since Shane McMahon triumphantly announced the end to automatic rematch clauses, we have an entire pay-per-view of rematches. Stomping Grounds? More like Retreaded Ground! (Not one of my best.)
But the essence of my criticism remains. Why are we resorting to a crutch that was wearing thin just last year, to excuse the lack of imagination in booking a host of tired rematches in 2019?
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Consider the Stomping Grounds card for a moment. Both Kofi Kingston and Seth Rollins are set to defend their titles against the same opponents they faced at Super ShowDown last week – matches that no one should be excited to sit through again. Roman Reigns will meet Drew McIntyre in a rematch of a Raw bout, which itself was a rematch of their lacklustre WrestleMania 35 encounter. Similarly Becky Lynch and Lacey Evans have faced off several times in recent weeks, with their last one-on-one encounter coming less than a month ago at Money in the Bank.
The closest thing we have to an original booking decision is Bayley vs Alexa Bliss. And even that suffers from the lingering bitterness of their Kendo Stick On A Pole match from Extreme Rules 2017. Not to mention the infamous “This Is Your Life” debacle of the month prior.
So Raw certainly had its hands full this week as it faced the monumental task of generating interest in a card distinctly lacking in ‘wow’ factor. Think about it: how do you make people care about the current state of Raw? Well, you put Baron Corbin in the main event, of course! I’m kidding. You have Samoa Joe appear as a guest on MizTV.
This is going to be a long show. Let’s get to the review.
The Best of Raw
Reboot of a Stumbling Franchise
Lars Sullivan squashed each member of Lucha House Party in the match we frankly should have seen at Super ShowDown.
While the elimination contest was nothing exciting, I hope this quick destruction acts as a soft reboot of Lars’ trajectory on Raw. The ‘Freak’, like so many, was really damaged by the nonsense that happened last Friday. Hopefully this utter squash closes the chapter on his Lucha House Party shambles and allows him to move on to better things.
THIS marks two eliminations ALREADY for @LarsSWWE… #RAW pic.twitter.com/w8Ek9jSRA3
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) June 11, 2019
So it gets a provisional upvote for now. But if he faces LHP again next week… I will crush it.
Six-Man Tag Action!
While the path to this match was hot garbage (see below), the contest itself was fairly entertaining. The team of Miz, Ricochet and Braun Strowman took on Samoa Joe, Bobby Lashley and Cesaro. The ‘Swiss Superman’ and Ricochet have proven good chemistry and everyone else more than held their own here.
The high-paced contest was brought to a close when Miz reversed an attempted Neutralizer into the Skull-Crushing Finale, allowing Ricochet to land the 1580. (The commentators called it a 630, but I’m convinced Ricochet spins more than that.)
NEVER ceases to amaze…#RAW @KingRicochet pic.twitter.com/TuXaSiJPrA
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) June 11, 2019
It’s worth pointing out too that the final move landed right on Cesaro’s thigh or knee, causing the Swiss brawler to clutch his leg in pain. It’s unclear whether this was a legitimate injury or simply an opportunistic bit of selling by the veteran. Hopefully it’s merely the latter, as latest reports seem to suggest.
A Match So Nice, We Got It Twice
Following the six-man bout was another tag match… this time one with 100% more women.
Bayley and Becky took on Alexa Bliss and Lacey Evans in a clash pitting champions against their Stomping Grounds challengers. The quartet worked well together, slowly getting the heat on Becky, in so doing building the anticipation for a hot tag to home-town hero, Bayley.
A little reminder as to why @itsBayleyWWE is THE #SDLive #WomensChampion! #RAW pic.twitter.com/o6qayFJbPK
— WWE (@WWE) June 11, 2019
When that tag eventually came, both Bayley and the San Jose crowd ran wild! That is until she ran into a Women’s Right. Becky had suffered the same fate on the outside moments earlier thanks to some inadvertent interference from Nikki Cross. Lacey then rolled into the ring after a dubious blind tag, nailed Bayley again and pinned the SmackDown Women’s Champ.
It was a messy end to a good match, and it hurt Bayley significantly. But that damage was hopefully outweighed by the benefit that Lacey received.
The 24/7 Championship gets stuck in an Elevator
R-Truth and Carmella were chased into an elevator by the usual band of undercard talent. This somehow caused the elevator to get stuck, trapping the occupants inside with no referee to count a potential pin.
Did the #247Champion @RonKillings just get stuck in elevator…with ALL of these people?!#RAW @CedricAlexander @WWEMaverick @therealec3 @HeathSlaterOMRB @CarmellaWWE pic.twitter.com/qKvnCV9AiV
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) June 11, 2019
Fortunately we were able to keep track of what was going on in the compartment curtesy of a well-placed camera. Although this raised the obvious question as to why, knowing that they were trapped, no one tried to rescue them. Also, why EC3 has returned to his celebrated ‘mute’ character? The man just gives zero f’s at this point, and honestly who can blame him.
Brushing those concerns aside, you’re probably wondering why this qualifies as a good moment on Raw. Was it the hilarious banter? The potential feuds? The silly games? No, it was R-Truth calling Drake Maverick “Hornswoggle”. I laughed.
IIconic Champions
The IIconics faced a tough title challenge from “San Jose’s Finest”, Lisa Lace and Aleyah Mia. As the name might suggest, these two ladies were simply local enhancement talent designed to make the Aussie duo look good.
THEY are the FUTURE, and the future IS…#RAW @BillieKayWWE @PeytonRoyceWWE pic.twitter.com/nF8AAueT04
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) June 11, 2019
And it worked. The match barely lasted a minute, as you’d expect, with Billie Kay picking up the pin for the title holders. This is exactly what the IIconics should have been doing since their unlikely victory at WrestleMania. Hosting weekly open challenges against a team of local jobbers affords the champs a chance to get heat by running down the host city’s sports team(s), before picking up an easy victory over regional competition.
I sincerely hope they keep this up.
Hawkins and Ryder Defend
In their first title defence since claiming the tag team belts in early April, Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder faced the Usos and the Revival in Triple Threat action. Of course, if wins and losses mattered, perhaps the Viking Raiders would’ve earned a spot in this match, having beaten Ryder and Hawkins just a few weeks ago. But this is WWE, so disabuse your mind of that logic.
The match was fun however, aided by the inherent chaos that a triple threats bring. Jey Uso landed a flurry of superkicks on anything with a pulse, before Scott Dawson capitalised by throwing Uso from the ring and pinning Ryder.
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The crowning of the Revival brings an end to an utterly pointless two-month title run. WWE clearly never had the faintest idea what they wanted to do with Hawkins and Ryder post-Mania, and placing the belts back on the Revival feels like an admission that a mistake was made. If nothing else, hopefully new champs can revitalise a flailing division.
Hopefully.
Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. We went from complete afterthoughts to the @WWE #Raw Tag Team Champions. @ZackRyder & I aren’t done yet. Never. Defeated. 🤘🏻
— Brian Myers (@Myers_Wrestling) June 11, 2019
The Fun House Secrets
Mercy the Buzzard and Rambling Rabbit got into a bit of a disagreement on this week’s Firefly Fun House, which was only resolved once Bray Wyatt threatened to summon “The Fiend”. (I wonder if his powers work similarly to Shane McMahon’s ability to summon mid-card henchmen.)
Thinking he was alone, Rambling Rabbit pondered revealing “what’s really going on in the Fun House”, suggesting that it may be more than just a harmless children’s show. Before he could utter another word though, Bray’s ‘HURT’ glove clamped down on Rabbit’s mouth. He then proceeded to absolutely flatten the poor Fun House puppet with a brightly decorated sledgehammer, marking the second time that Rambling Rabbit has been brutally murdered in the weekly segment. He’s officially the Kenny of Raw.
Naturally we couldn’t have our fun for too long though, as the first voice we heard after the clip was Michael Cole’s clueless: “what was that?” Yip, he’s still the worst.
Seth vs Owens
The main event was an excellent TV showcase between two of WWE’s best. KO targeted the weakened ribs early but was unable to put the champ away. Seth, on the other hand, looked to gain the upper hand, but was repeatedly thwarted by Sami Zayn – who had been appointed the “ringside official” (whatever that is).
Putting your hands on an official?
That's a disqualification VICTORY for @FightOwensFight on #RAW! #RollinsvsKO pic.twitter.com/aOyY4GIITV
— WWE (@WWE) June 11, 2019
Eventually getting fed up with the constant interference, Seth grabbed Zayn by the collar, inviting the DQ. This of course only served to infuriate Rollins even further and he repeatedly laid into Sami with a steel chair before hitting him with The Stomp.
Baron Corbin had come out to watch the fight unfold and was treated to a front-row seat to this savagery. Raw is evidently trying to position Seth as entirely remorseless, ready to doll out punishment to whomever crosses him. I’m not convinced this is the best way to present your valiant champion, as demolishing someone with a chair for interfering in your match seems a tad disproportionate. But I’m willing to see where this character development takes us.
WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME, @SamiZayn!#RAW #RollinsvsKO @WWERollins pic.twitter.com/4Pmw9Xya7r
— WWE (@WWE) June 11, 2019
All in all, a solid way to end the night.
The Worst of Raw
An Architect, a Corbin, a Critic and a Wild-Card
Judging by the opening segment to Raw, WWE evidently treats its microphones like prizes on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Everyone gets one.
Seth opened the show by marching to the ring with a steel chair – presumably the same one he had used to fend off Brock Lesnar at Super ShowDown. Why he went through the hassle of bringing it back with him I’m not sure, as the chair had no role in anything that happened throughout this opening segment.
Seth claimed the Raw locker room had three options if they wanted to dethrone him: fight him, wrestle him or take the “hard way” like Brock Lesnar. Without delving into what the words “three” or “options” mean (as all three seem to be largely the same to me), it appeared that invitation was enough to convince Baron Corbin to come out.
Now I don’t hate Corbin, he’s a largely decent wrestler. I’m just bored of seeing him. He does nothing for me. He’s the physical embodiment of the word ‘meh’. Anyway, he reminded Seth about their upcoming match at Stomping Grounds, revealing that he gets to handpick the referee for that encounter. Expect some contrived officiating shenanigans in two weeks.
The WILD CARD RULE has brought @FightOwensFight to #RAW tonight…and he ALSO believes @BaronCorbinWWE would be a better #UniversalChampion than @WWERollins?! pic.twitter.com/ZHHZRp7gii
— WWE (@WWE) June 11, 2019
Pretty soon, Corbin was followed by Sami Zayn and the night’s first Wild-Card, Kevin Owens. They had very little of value to add, until eventually a match between Seth and KO was booked for later in the night.
This was such a lacklustre, pointless – and loooong – start to the show. Everyone came out one-by-one like marching ants, said their bit and then just stood there while the next guy made his entrance. On a night when Raw was looking to recover from Friday’s disaster, this was an uncreative way to kickstart a program.
The ‘Man’ and Her Man
I generally have no objection to real-life couples being featured as such onscreen. And I’m glad that Becky Lynch and Seth Rollins seem to have a good thing going.
UP NEXT: #RAW #WomensChampion @BeckyLynchWWE and the #SassySouthernBelle @LaceyEvansWWE will sit down for an exclusive interview just 2 weeks before their big rematch at #WWEStompingGrounds! pic.twitter.com/0y0R6x9uo7
— WWE (@WWE) June 11, 2019
But between last week and yesterday’s Raw, I’m tiring of their relationship being peddled on weekly TV. It adds absolutely nothing to the product, and it could be argued, actually detracts from Becky’s character. She’s meant to be this single-minded, uncaring badass, however too often is portrayed as ‘concerned and/or supportive girlfriend’. I don’t see the need to blur the line between real life and fiction in this instance.
Lexie Two-Face
The ‘Goddess’ was back to cheery mode this week. Of all the annoying modes for a human to have, cheery is second only to Brie. Because the Bellas are and forever will be the absolute worst.
Regardless, Alexa Bliss was once again merrily chatting to Nicki Cross this week. In complete contrast to her heelish persona on Tuesday night. Does Cross not watch SmackDown? I mean, I know barely anyone does these days, but still…
All seems well between @AlexaBliss_WWE and @NikkiCrossWWE on #RAW! pic.twitter.com/HTFAqRU2zy
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) June 11, 2019
At least Alexa was subtly putting down Bayley in a similar fashion to her disparaging comments towards Becky last week. So there is some consistency. Regardless, I’m yet to fully grasp why Cross should care whether Bliss is nice towards the rest of the women’s roster, nor what Alexa’s endgame is in keeping Nikki around. Whatever the case, I’m quickly losing patience. Continuing this bizarre charade without a payoff makes Cross look like a naive chump and Alexa like a vindictive sociopath with no purpose.
The Interview of Champion and Challenger
Becky Lynch and Lacey Evans were interviewed in separate locations by Michael Cole this week. The weird arrangement of Michael Cole at ringside, Bliss on one side of a split screen and Evans on the other really stunted the rhythm of this interview.
The #SassySouthernBelle.#TheMan.
This is gonna be good. #RAW @LaceyEvansWWE @BeckyLynchWWE pic.twitter.com/LNZ2mQzCdA
— WWE (@WWE) June 11, 2019
The two women alternated between awkward silence and speaking over one another. Also, whereas Becky was her usual good self, Lacey’s delivery somewhat undercut the desired tough tone. Although I generally quite like Lacey, her sing-song style this week was more reminiscent of a nursery rhyme than a tempestuous confrontation. It just didn’t quite work.
Of course, all of this could have been infinitely improved had interviewer and interviewees been occupying the same space backstage, à la Rock and Stone Cold before WrestleMania X-Seven. But then again, why use a good idea?
The US Championship Roundabout
I’m all for elevating the prestige of the US Championship. But just throwing a handful of names in a program and seeing what sticks isn’t the way to do it.
Samoa Joe was the guest on MizTV this week. Things started to get a bit tense after The Miz began pressing Joe on the manner in which he won that title. This prompted interruptions from Braun Strowman, Bobby Lashley, Ricochet and Cesaro in quick succession.
The #AllMighty @fightbobby isn't done with @BraunStrowman quite yet, but it looks like he also has his sights set on championship gold! #RAW pic.twitter.com/ajFqrSyrC7
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) June 11, 2019
This menagerie of big bodies predictably resulted in a brawl and the declaration of a six-man tag bout. We’ve been bombarded by so many brawls and six-man tags in recent weeks that they seem to lose all meaning after a while. They’re like Kardashian sisters in that sense.
Not only was it a fairly boring segment, but it’s entirely unclear how this muddled mess of humanity advances a US Title feud.
Who is in Charge?
Sami Zayn petitioned Shane McMahon to be the special guest referee in the night’s main event, which gave rise to all sorts of problems in my mind.
Last week Stephanie McMahon was referred to as the Raw Commissioner, indicating that the McMahon offspring had returned to their previous positions of power – crucially then, that Shane was once again the SmackDown Commissioner.
The #BestInTheWorld @shanemcmahon has decreed: @SamiZayn will be an outside referee TONIGHT for @FightOwensFight vs. @WWERollins! #RAW pic.twitter.com/nvuqt5j5Um
— WWE (@WWE) June 11, 2019
But Sami approached Shane to adjust a match on Raw. And Shane obliged. I have no idea who anyone is anymore! WHO’S RUNNING THIS STUPID SHOW?
Paul Heyman’s Insinuations
Paul Heyman randomly showed up to remind everyone that Brock was still the “Beast in the Bank”. As if any of us could ever forget. That 300-pound buffoon with a plastic ‘Beast-box’ haunts my dreams.
Heyman went on to assure us that Brock will show up when and where he chooses, perhaps even being the special referee in the championship bout between Rollins and Corbin. Here’s a spoiler: that definitely won’t happen.
Threat. Promise. Guarantee. Repeat.@HeymanHustle & @BrockLesnar are DONE being transparent about when #TheBeast might cash in his #MITB contract… #RAW pic.twitter.com/qcpKGCEk4S
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) June 11, 2019
Shane McMahon Appreciation Night
I struggle to remember a time when WWE programming didn’t feature some form of Shane McMahon Appreciation Night. And the quality of these segments has performed about as well as Shane’s antiperspirant.
This week, Shane drank champagne, derided the crowd and reminisced about his victory over Roman Reigns at Super ShowDown.
Then Drew McIntyre, loyally standing by McMahon’s side, cut an impassioned promo about how he would inflict pain on Reigns in two weeks. This part was fairly decent. But hearing Drew McIntyre affirm that Shane McMahon is the ‘Best in the World’ made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. And something tells me we haven’t seen the end of these tedious “celebrations”.
This party just got lit.#RAW @shanemcmahon pic.twitter.com/ngNRuLcZlj
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) June 11, 2019
Overall Rating for the Show (From best to worst: RawSome, Cor, AvRAWge, Poor and RawFul)
This was another largely boring instalment of Raw, interspersed by some average-to-good wrestling. The various tag matches and main event, in particular, were great.
And if Raw was all about wrestling, we’d be on solid footing. But we know that’s not the case, as the show has slowly devolved into a series of silly skits, overlong promos and repetitive (often illogical) angles. How many Shane McMahon Appreciation Nights are we going to see? How often will Paul Heyman deliver the same promo, while Brock hunts Wildebeest at home? And who really is Alexa Bliss?!
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These are all continuing concerns about the show’s general structure though, and don’t speak to the fatal flaw in its overall direction. Less than two weeks out from Stomping Grounds, everything is geared towards building to the PPV. But there’s not much to sell there. It’s a card riddled with uninspiring rematches and long-in-the-tooth feuds. At this point, we may be just one testicle-centric promo away from a sequel to Triple H vs Randy Orton. Or, God forbid, The Undertaker and Goldberg.
Of course, these wounds are entirely self-inflicted. No one’s forcing WWE to book a string of rematches. And no one’s forcing those rematches to be sequels to already boring originals. But, sadly, that’s precisely what Raw has decided to do anyway.
This week’s Raw – thanks only to a few good matches and Firefly Fun House – is AvRAWge.
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