With the exception of putting Roman Reigns in every PPV main event, Vince tends to send the fans home happy during the Big Four events. This isn’t always the case, however. Sometimes the WWE likes to build up our expectations only to dash them expertly against a wall like they were a Targaryen baby. So, on this week’s High 5: SummerSlam Special we’re going to explore all the times our hopes were crushed like a beer can against Belushi’s forehead.
Sometimes, it’s just a bad decision and sometimes it’s politics. Either way, there have been plenty of SummerSlam moments that have left us weeping and gnashing our teeth. Since there’s been more tragedy at SummerSlam than a Greek play, this list was rather hard to whittle down. Therefore, before we begin, a special shoutout to DDP and the late, great Chris Kanyon for taking that unnecessarily brutal ass-whoopin’ from the Brothers of Destruction at SummerSlam 2001.
5. Jinder Mahal (c) defeated Shinsuke Nakamura – 2017 – WWE Championship
I think we can dub 2017 as the year Vince was on hasheesh while booking. Jindar Mahal’s WWE Championship run was a transparent attempt to court the Indian fanbase that did nothing for the company or Jinder himself. Mahal wasn’t ready to put on main event matches, he wasn’t built up as a threat, and no one bought him as champion. Going from jobber to champ without any build-up is a ridiculous prospect.
the WWE and wrestling, in general, asks its audience to suspend disbelief on a nightly basis, to which we generally oblige. However, they can’t expect us to disregard everything they’ve fed us to this point. You told us Mahal was a loser who couldn’t win a match, then the next day you’re telling us he’s ‘the man.’ I believe the Undertaker can control purple lightning, but I refuse to believe Jindar Mahal can beat Randy Orton consistently.
So, we’re neck deep in the mire that is Jinder’s championship run, and there’s a glimmer of hope on the horizon: Shinsuke Nakamura. Nakamura had been built up in NXT as near unstoppable force. No one could stand to Shinsuke especially someone who seemed a fluke champion. With s major event like SummerSlam looming, it seemed time for a change. Time for a champion the people could actually get behind. There was no way Shinsuke wasn’t walking away the champion.
Man, we’re dumb. Shinsuke lost in the same way all of Jinder’s opponents lost. The damn Singh Brother interfered and Jinder delivered the most awkward Khallas ever. Why that experiment had to last so long I’ll never know.
4. Edge (with Lita) defeated Matt Hardy by knockout – 2005
Look, I’m no saint, but when the real-life drama of Edge, Matt, and Lita unfolded we all wanted to throttle Edge. Love makes us do some crazy things, but the bottom line is that Matt’s partner and friend betrayed him and he was fired for his troubles. You couldn’t create a more sympathetic character than Matt Hardy at that time.
When Vince brought Hardy back it blew everyone away. Matt was back and hell was coming with him. Finally, we’d see justice for our broken-hearted hero as he took his revenge on the ‘Rated-R Superstar.’ Sadly, this was not to be. Though Matt was aggressive leading up to the bout, we never got the cathartic release of him putting Edge down properly.
At SummerSlam 2005, the two rivals squared off in a match that was, unfortunately, cut short. During the bout, Matt was dropped on the ring post and started bleeding like a stuck pig. Edge laid in a few of the stiffest blows you’ve ever seen before the ref called the match, saying Matt couldn’t continue. Not only were we denied Matt’s revenge, but the villain beat the hero to a bloody pulp. This wasn’t just disappointing, it was heart-breaking all over again.
3. Stone Cold Steve Austin defeated Owen Hart (c) – IC Title
So the tragedy here isn’t the result of the match, but rather the result of having the match. Let me explain. Stone Cold winning is not the issue. It was the right time to put gold around him as he his character was starting to take off. However, during the match, Owen Hart delivered a pile driver that would end up getting all piledrivers banned.
Owen went for the trusty move, but sadly, Austin’s head was too far back and made contact with the mat. In other words, Owen delivered the piledriver for real. The move broke Austin’s neck and temporarily paralyzed the ‘Rattlesnake.’ Owen played to the crowd long enough for Stone Cold to recover a bit and roll him up for the victory.
However, Stone Cold had to be helped to the back and eventually relinquish the title. Though Austin recovered and went on the be arguably the greatest WWE superstar of all time, in the moment, it was a devastating blow to the career of a rising star.
2. Money in the Bank Blues
Ok, I’m cheating again in this one, but so what? It’s my list. Fight me. I couldn’t pick between these two moments, both were basically the same kind of emotional devastation and both deserve to be on this list. That damn MITB contract. In the hands of a fan favorite, it’s a marvelous promise of a championship to come. In the hands of a heel, however, it’s a constant reminder that we’ll have to suffer this blowhard in the near future. They’re reminders that nothing lasts forever. But what about the times when a champion didn’t even get a chance to begin his run before having it all snatched away?
2011 was the Summer of Punk. Chick Magnet was getting huffy about not being booked as the best wrestler ever and threatened to take his ball and go home. And by his ball, I mean the WWE Championship. Punk beat Cena at Money in the Bank and fled the WWE like Herod was after him. With Punk absconding with the belt, Vince declared the title vacant and held a tournament for the title.
After a little more BS storytelling Super Cena ended up with the title. The status quo had been returned to the WWE. Vince slept easy with visions of Cena’s merch dollars dancing in his head. Then CM came back with the title in hand and the champion vs champion match was set for SummerSlam 2011 to determine the true champ.
Cm fought hard, defeated Cena, and we all rejoiced… for about a minute before Big Sexy made the return no one was asking for. After attacking Punk during his moment of glory, Alberto Del Rio marched to ringside and cashed in his Money in the Bank contract. What could be worse than robbing us of our champion the moment he returned? How about doing the same thing years later to an even more likable and deserving man?
Remember that scene in Lost Boys where Kiefer Sutherland is giving Jason Patric Chinese food only for it to appear as worms and maggots? That’s what SummerSlam 2013 was. We thought we Vince was giving us delicious fried rice but instead, we got maggots.
Just like in 2011 a fan favorite, Daniel Bryan was facing John Cena for the title and HHH was the guest referee. Then just like before our hero wins only to be assaulted from behind and cashed in on by someone we weren’t even remotely interested in seeing in the title picture. It was a bs flavored lollipop with bs coating and chewy bs center. Why do we keep letting the WWE hurt us?
1. Super Cena defeated The Nexus – 2010
This was the night John Cena buried more people than the Undertaker. He was politicking harder than Hogan during a Sting title run. First, let me say John Cena is amazing to his fans. He is one of the most selfless and giving superstars when it comes to his fans, especially those in need. He is, however, the worst damn co-worker ever, and this was the night we all saw how bad it was.
This was a 7-on-7 elimination match pitting Team WWE against the Nexus. The original plan, as you all know, was for the Nexus the go over, thus establishing them as dominating force to be reckoned with. Cena was supposed to be eliminated early with Jericho and Edge being the last hold-outs before ultimately succumbing to the Nexus.
Then John Cena does what John Cena does best, he laced up his boots (or Nikes or whatever he wears), never gave up, and bitched to Papa Vinny. He felt losing to the Nexus would make him look week and we can’t have that, now can we? So, why not be reasonable and have him barely beat one guy? Because it’s Cena, and if it’s worth doing, it’s worth over-doing.
No instead of losing, instead of barely winning and trying to make the young guys look good, Cena ate a DDT on the concrete and came back to beat two men single-handedly. Let’s not forget that the DDT finisher by itself, and Cena ate one on the concrete. That should have been goodnight, but instead, we got the brutal burial of talented young men. They were buried deeper than the Mariana Trench. I mean they were in that part of the ocean where you stop seeing life and just start seeing glowing aliens that like the screw with Ed Harris.
That’s it for this SummerSlam Special Edition of the High 5. Look for the next High 5 this weekend before the PPV where we’ll cover the Top 5 most significant title changes in SummerSlam History. What were the most tragic SummerSlam moments for you? Let us know in the comments below or on Twitter here. You can also join us on Discord to chat with Oli, Luke, the magazine team, the website writers and each other here!
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